In My Veins
by A. K. Hunter
Summary: When Kevin Ryan's life falls apart, he finds comfort in Lanie's new assistant, Alexis Castle. Their friendship brings much-needed light to his life, but Kevin refuses to recognize their growing attraction. When Alexis is threatened by forces outside their control, Kevin has to make a decision. And with lives hanging in the balance the wrong choice could cost everything.
1. Chapter One

In My Veins

by

A.K. Hunter

Chapter One

"I hate everyone." - Get Set Go

* * *

Kevin Ryan had never liked Valentine's Day. The chocolates and cards never felt genuine, and the flowers were surprisingly easy to mess up. For Kevin, Valentine's Day was more stressful than anything else, especially since he began working at the 12th. Murders always increased around the holidays – Valentine's Day was no exception – and though Kevin prided himself on keeping work at work, his job always seemed to collide with his plans.

This year's February 14th found Kevin in front of the murder board with Beckett, Castle, and Esposito, going over the leads on their most recent case. The victim, a middle-aged white male, had been found in his apartment, strung up by his neck, with small hearts carved all over his body. The case had been challenging thus far; their victim lived alone, and didn't have any enemies. The victim's few friends and family members described him as polite and reclusive. Financials were normal. The background check was clean.

"If this guy's so boring, why did he end up as someone's personal, make-your-own valentine?" Javier asked.

Kevin frowned. There didn't seem to be any motive for killing the man, making the case seem more and more like a random murder, which meant they had no way of tracking the murderer, or preventing him from killing again.

Castle opened his mouth, presumably to supply a crazy theory, when a soft voice interrupted them.

"Kevin?"

His heart sped up when he saw his wife standing behind them. Jenny rarely came by the precinct anymore, and she didn't look happy to be sharing space with the Valentine-themed murder board.

"Can I speak with you, please?" She gestured to the empty break room.

Kevin glanced at his friends, who were suddenly very occupied with the victim's call list. He sighed, feeling a familiar tension across his shoulders.

"Sure."

Things hadn't been good between them lately, and he was sure that her unexpected arrival had nothing to do with wishing him a happy Valentine's Day.

"Close the door," Jenny said as she stepped inside.

Looking at his wife, Kevin recognized the sure signs of a tirade. Her eyes were red, her mouth pinched, and she rubbed at her temples. He ran through a mental list. Yes, he'd forgotten to wish her a happy Valentine's Day, but had he missed something else? He hadn't missed a birthday, had he?

"Want some coffee?" Kevin asked, already moving toward the espresso maker. Caffeine was a natural feel-good drug. They could both use a cup.

"No."

His hands stilled at her tone, and he noticed tears shining in her eyes. "Hey, what's the matter?" He stepped close to take her into his arms, but she stepped away just as quickly.

She took a deep breath, and then dug into her oversized bag, removing a manila envelope. A terrible sense of foreboding set in as she handed it over. Kevin opened it, eyeing the contents. Legalese and English swirled together in an indecipherable puzzle. One word stood out among the rest.

"Divorce? You're giving me divorce papers?" Kevin shoved the offensive papers bag in the envelope and tossed it on the nearby table. "What's going on?"

Jenny shook her head, tears slipping from her eyes. "I think you know, Kevin."

"No, actually I don't know." He reached over, taking his wife's tiny hands in his own. "Tell me what's wrong."

She yanked her hands away as if burned. "How can you ask that?"

"Jenny…"

"You're never there, Kev! You're gone. All the time. Ever since Sarah," Jenny's voice caught. "Even when you're home, you're gone. I can't do this anymore. I can't wait around for you anymore."

Kevin was speechless. Sure, he'd been busy with work, but hadn't he always been? Hadn't she known that when she married him?

"My lawyer says it's important to divide our assets, and since we don't have any children," she choked on the last word. "Well, it should be easy." She walked to the door, leaving the envelope on the table. "Just send them to my lawyer once you've signed them. I'm done, Kevin."

His feet were rooted to the ground. He could only watch as she opened the door and walked away. For a moment, Kevin stood, staring at the place his wife had been seconds earlier, the familiar anger and helpless frustration churning in his stomach.

This had to be a bad dream. Kevin had always been skeptical of the men and women who were surprised when served with divorce papers. He'd always wondered how they didn't see it coming. How can you not notice the deterioration of your marriage? Now Kevin was in the same boat. He hadn't seen it coming either.

His phone rang. He answered automatically, his cop instincts kicking in.

"Ryan."

It was Alexis, she had something for him down at the morgue. "I'll be right there." He left the break room, divorce papers lying carelessly on the table. Kevin hoped someone would shred them while he was away.

Javier was by Kevin's side as he dug his car keys out of the desk. "Bro, you look like shit. What happened?"

Kevin shrugged. Partner or not, he was nowhere near ready to have that conversation. "Alexis called. She's got something for us."

A few months ago, Castle's twenty-one-year-old daughter took a part-time job as a medical examiner's assistant for the NYPD. Normally, she wouldn't have been qualified, but between the internship Alexis had already completed with Lanie, her excellent grades in her pre-med courses, and her connections with the NYPD, she'd gotten the job. Kevin had been skeptical about the girl's contribution to their cases, but she was already proving to be an invaluable asset. Whatever information she had for them, he was sure it would help them solve the case.

* * *

"Bro, I'm your partner. I'm with you no matter what."

"I know, Javie."

Kevin had spent the drive to the morgue deflecting Javier's curiosity, a task that required every drop of patience Kevin had. They pulled up to the hospital, heading down the familiar path to the morgue.

"Did you forget her birthday?"

"No."

"Did she cheat on you?"

"No, Javie."

"Oh, I get it. You forgot Valentine's Day again."

Kevin ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated. "Shut up, Javier." As they walked into the morgue, Kevin took in the sight of the redhead standing over the not-so-fresh corpse of their victim. It was still a little unnerving to see Alexis, a girl they'd known since she was fifteen, cutting open dead bodies. Maybe Castle's penchant for the morbid was genetic.

Alexis looked up from the corpse. "Hey guys." She set her instruments aside and tossed her gloves in the biohazard bin. Her careful gaze fell over both men, immediately picking up on the tension. "Everything okay?"

Javier wasted no time throwing his partner under the bus. "Ryan and Jenny are fighting because he forgot about Valentine's Day, but he doesn't want to talk about it."

Kevin bristled under the girl's curious gaze. "What have you got for us?"

Alexis' expression didn't change as she picked up a clipboard at the end of the vic's gurney. "Your guy with the heart-shaped wounds. The hearts were carved into his skin before he died."

Kevin and Javier's faces mirrored surprise. "I thought Lanie determined that the hearts were left post-mortem?" Kevin asked.

Alexis nodded. "That was the best assumption, given the evidence at the scene, but an analysis of the blood clots around the wounds indicates that they were created while this man was still alive."

"That means this wasn't just the work of a whack-job. Those wounds were left with the intent to torture," Javier said.

Kevin frowned. "That makes even less sense than a random killing. Alexis, are you sure?"

"She's right, Ryan. The tests don't lie," Lanie said as she walked in, giving Javier a quick kiss on the cheek. She immediately noticed the storm cloud around Kevin. "What's got you all worked up?"

Kevin pulled his cell out of his pocket, ignoring the M.E. "I'm going to call Beckett and let her know what Alexis found." He walked out of the exam room, letting the door slam on his way out.

For a moment, Alexis, Javier, and Lanie just stared at the door.

"What's wrong with him?" Lanie asked, surprised at Ryan's manner.

"Jenny stopped by the precinct earlier. I'm pretty sure they had a fight," Javier said.

The M.E. nodded sympathetically. It was no secret that Kevin and Jenny had been on the rocks for the last several months, and couples struggling with a loss like theirs rarely stayed together.

"He's practically been living at the precinct," Javier continued. "I think Jenny's finally fed up with it."

Alexis watched the Kevin through the window of the exam room. The normally impeccably-dressed detective looked haggard. Dark circles hugged his eyes, and his three-piece suit was wrinkled in a couple places. He ran a hand through his hair, nodding to Beckett over the phone as he walked further down the hallway.

Alexis wished there was something she could do to help him. She set the clipboard down. "I'll be right back."

* * *

Kevin hung up the phone, placing it back in his pocket. He rubbed tiredly at his face. His brain ran through the logistics, both professional and personal. Between the case and Jenny, nothing made sense any more.

"Detective Ryan?"

He turned around, realizing he had an audience. How long had she been standing there? "Alexis. Did you find something else about the vic?" His voice was hopeful.

She shook her head, a pink hue spreading over her cheekbones. It wasn't until she was down the hall, a few feet away from the harried detective, that Alexis realized she had no idea what to say. "Uh... no."

"What can I do for you?"

Alexis smiled, then blurted out, "I-know-I'm-not-Detective-Esposito-or-Kate-or-anything-and-you-don't-really-know-me-but-you-look-really-upset-and-you're-usually-much-nicer-not-that-you're-not-being-nice-anyway-I-wanted-to-know... Are you okay?"

Kevin just stared at her for a moment, letting his brain decipher her question. "Wait, did Espo put you up to this?"

"What? No! I just noticed- well, you're not yourself and I wanted to know if I could do anything for you?" While Alexis wasn't sure exactly what Kevin's response would be, she hadn't expected him to be defensive.

"What could you possibly do for me?"

"I- I don't know."

Kevin sighed and shook his head, trying very hard to keep his tone civil when he really just wanted to punch something. "Listen, Alexis, that's sweet of you, but it's really none of your business. Now, we both have jobs to do. We have a murder to solve. I think we should focus on that." He walked down the hallway, towards the elevator, and out of sight.

Alexis frowned. That hadn't gone well at all. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned to face Javier. "I was just trying to help."

"I know. He doesn't mean it," Javier said, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Alexis sighed. "But he's right. We need to get back to work. This case isn't going to solve itself. See you later, Detective Esposito."

* * *

"You were out of line in there."

Javier was disappointed in his partner. It was probably Javier's fault that Kevin had snapped at the girl, he'd pushed him too far, but that didn't mean it was okay. Personal problems or not, Kevin owed her an apology.

Kevin rolled his eyes. "It's fine, Javie. Yeah, I was a little brusque with her, but Alexis is working with cops now. She'll have to get used to it sooner or later."

"Brusque? Is that the fancy way of saying you were a dick?" Javier asked his partner skeptically. "Look, Lanie's not happy about your attitude either. The last thing we need right now is a cranky M.E. Will you just apologize?"

Kevin sighed. "Fine. I'll go by her place after work, but for the rest of the day I don't want to hear anything about Jenny or Alexis. Let's just get this friggin' case over with."

"That's fine by me, bro."

Kevin ran through a mental checklist, thinking of how much work still needed to be done on the case. "I hate Valentine's Day."

* * *

Author's Note: For clarification, this story is not cannon to the season six finale. Otherwise this story is cannon to the show. _In My Veins _takes place about nine months after season six. Castle and Beckett's wedding did take place as planned, and the gang has moved forward since then. I'm fudging Alexis' age just a little bit, to put her at twenty-one instead of twenty. Any other questions should be answered in subsequent chapters. I hope you enjoyed this first installment, more is on the way. Please review.


	2. Chapter Two

In My Veins

By: A.K. Hunter

Chapter Two

"And now all your love is wasted. Then who the hell was I?" - Birdy

* * *

Alexis Castle was not afraid of the dark.

At least, that's what she kept reminding herself on her trip home from the hospital. The dark isn't really scary. Darkness can't hurt you. People on the other hand... Fortunately, the subway station was only a few blocks away from her apartment.

Alexis glanced around, surveying people on the sidewalk, her fingers tightly wrapped around the can of pepper spray in her coat pocket. She didn't used to be so jumpy. And while her job made her painfully aware of the inherent evil in people, it wasn't the reason for her caution. Most of the bodies on her slab were crimes of passion, family members and friends caught in a moment of tragically poor judgment.

Alexis didn't worry about that. She knew she could trust her family and friends at the precinct.

Even when they acted like assholes.

She frowned, thinking back on Detective Ryan's cold behavior. She didn't know him as well as the others. She'd known Kate for years, and after the wedding last spring, Kate was more of a mother to Alexis than Meredith had ever been. Alexis had come to know Javier well through Lanie's stories, but Detective Ryan wasn't someone she had that "in" with. They'd talked a few times over the years, of course, and he had always been friendly, even charming on occasion, but she'd never seen him like this. So raw, so exposed. Though he tried to hide it, he'd seemed at wits end.

As frustrated as Alexis was with his unkind words, she believed Javier's assertion that Ryan hadn't meant it. What little she knew of Ryan proved that he wasn't truly a cold person.

A group of young men whistled at her as she passed. She quickened her steps, her hand closing tighter over the can of pepper spray. It had been a gift from her dad, given when she started college. Until recently, she'd never thought about using it.

There was a reason Alexis wanted to arm herself against unwanted attention, and the memory of it made her skin crawl. She shivered, trying not to dwell on unpleasant thoughts.

Long fingers wrapped around her arm from behind, and Alexis reacted instinctively.

She whipped around, spraying her attacker directly in the face. Her attacker was just as quick, bending her arm back until she relinquished her hold on the pepper spray. It happened in a matter of seconds.

Just as quickly as she was disarmed, her attacker let go crying, "Alexis! What the _hell_?!"

Alexis stumbled back a few steps, a scream lodged in her throat. She recognized that voice. "Detective Ryan?"

The detective was doubled over, furiously scrubbing at his eyes. Oh dear god. She'd just maced a cop. He glared up at her, his blue eyes all the brighter against the bloodshot capillaries. She rushed over to him.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was you!" Her hands hovered over him, unsure of what to do. Was a pat on the back sufficient apology for macing someone?

Tears ran from Kevin's irritated eyes. "Who did you think it was? What, you just go around macing random people in the dark?"

Alexis bit her lip. "Not exactly."

He groaned in response. He clearly needed medical attention. Pepper spray wouldn't just wash out with water.

She took him by the arm. "My apartment is just around the corner. I have some wipes that should help your eyes."

Kevin snorted, "Yes, by all means let's go to the home of the woman who maced me in the face. Brilliant idea. You got a gun in there you want to 'accidentally' test on me too?"

Alexis rolled her eyes. Had he always been such a smart ass? She guided him into her building and up the stairs to her front door. Once inside, she led him over to the couch where he collapsed gracelessly, moaning in pain. So this was Detective Kevin Ryan, one of NYPD's finest, reduced to a common man. It was not a comforting sight.

"Just stay here for a minute. I'll go get the wipes." Alexis raced to her bathroom. She dug around in drawers and cabinets until she found what she was looking for. Like the pepper spray, the wipes had been a gift from her father. Castle worried about Alexis accidentally macing herself. Apparently it was a common mistake, one he had made multiple times. Alexis smiled at the memory.

"I found them!" She called from the bathroom.

Her victory was rewarded with a groan of pain. Alexis rushed back over to the couch, kneeling next to him.

"Give me the wipes," Ryan commanded, reaching blindly.

She swatted his hands away. "You've got pepper spray all over your hands. My hands are clean. Let me." She rested a hand against his jaw, using the other hand to gently wipe at his irritated eyes.

A sigh of contentment slipped through his lips. She smiled at the sound. After a minute or two of gentle ministrations, those same fingers wrapped around her wrists. "Thanks." His voice was rough. His bloodshot eyes met hers, looking grateful.

Alexis was suddenly aware of the way she was hovering over him, hands cupping his face, looking down into his eyes. "You're welcome."

For just a moment, her eyes drifted to his mouth, and then she backed toward the other end of the couch, placing the used wipes on the coffee table. "I'm so sorry, Detective Ryan. I swear I never would have done that if I had known it was you."

A small, rueful smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Well, I wouldn't blame you if it was on purpose. I was a beast today. Do you mind if I use your bathroom? I need to wash the rest of this crap off."

Alexis pointed him in the direction she had just come from. "In there."

He quickly excused himself, closing the door behind him. Alexis exhaled loudly, shaking her head. She couldn't believe she had maced a cop. Of all the stupid things she'd done, this one had to take the cake. She was lucky she knew Ryan, or things could have been a lot worse.

For some reason, her mind kept playing over that moment when she hovered over him. How bright his eyes had been, and the way he stared up at her with parted lips. She cringed. He probably thought she was a huge dork. Maybe he was just hiding in her bathroom until backup came.

After about twenty seconds of waiting, she couldn't sit still any longer. "You want some tea?" She busied herself in the kitchen, not waiting for a response. A few minutes later, just as she was placing two mugs of tea on her coffee table, he walked back in.

"Oh thanks." Detective Ryan looked much better. His eyes were still rimmed in red, but he didn't seem to be in pain. He sat on the couch, a respectable distance away. "This is a nice place, Alexis. You live here by yourself?"

She handed him his mug of tea. "I have a roommate, Emma, but she spends most of her time with her boyfriend. She's not here very often, or at least not when I am. I've only been here a few months, but it's nice to have my own place. Dad and Kate are great of course, but I don't know, I just wanted my own space, to come and go as I please, you know." Alexis blushed, realizing that she was rambling.

A silence set in as they each sipped their tea.

"So, any new leads on the heart carver?" She asked, trying to find something to talk about.

Ryan sighed. "Not yet. We've looked down every avenue, but there's nothing remotely interesting about this guy. There's no discernible reason for him to die that way. At this point, we're just rechecking what we know and hoping that new evidence comes to light."

"That's so bizarre. I mean, whose life is actually that boring? Everyone has a skeleton or two in their closet." Alexis said.

"Exactly. Which is why we're rechecking everything. If there is a discrepancy in this guy's story, we'll find it." He smiled at her. "You've been a lot of help on this case, you know."

"Oh. Thanks. I'm glad to help."

The silence resumed.

"Again, I'm sorry about the..." Alexis gestured around her face.

Ryan eyed her with amusement, "It's fine Alexis. Don't worry about it." He took another sip. "This is good. What is it?"

"Chamomile with honey."

"Hmm."

"So, Detective Ryan-"

"Call me Kevin. I think accidental assault deserves a first-name basis."

Alexis blushed to the tips of her ears. "Okay, Kevin. What were you doing outside my apartment building?"

Kevin eyed her speculatively. "Well," he set down his tea. "I actually came by to apologize for the way I spoke to you today. I was frustrated with Javie and some other things that are going on, and I took that frustration out on you. I'm sorry. That's not fair."

Alexis just stared at him for a moment. He came all the way over to apologize?

"It's alright, Kevin. I know you didn't mean it." She bit her lip, then made a quick decision. "Are you okay?"

Kevin sighed, shaking his head. "No. I don't think I am."

Alexis reached over, resting a hand on his arm. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." He glanced down at her hand, then frowned.

"Okay." She pulled away, picking up her empty mug. Alexis could read between the lines: Kevin wanted space. Space to deal with whatever was happening, away from all the questions and good intentions of those around him. She gestured to his half-empty mug. "Do you want more tea?"

"No. I'm fine, thanks."

She crossed to her kitchen, busying her hands in rinsing out her cup.

"Jenny gave me divorce papers."

Alexis almost dropped the mug. "_What_?"

Kevin laughed humorlessly. "Yeah." He rested his face in his palms, exhaling raggedly.

In an instant, Alexis was by his side. "What happened?" She caught herself, talking rapidly. "I'm sorry. It's none of my business."

"It's okay... Honestly, I'm not sure what happened. She said I'm gone too much, but... I really don't know. I guess I thought everything was fine, but I'm wrong. Everything isn't fine."

Alexis remember what Javier had said in the morgue. Apparently Ryan really had been away too much, and she could think of one clear reason for Ryan's workaholism. "Is it... I mean, do you think this has something to do with Sarah?"

Kevin's body instantly became rigid. His nostrils flared, but he seemed unable to talk.

Alexis spoke softly, her eyes cast down to the table. "It's not your fault, you know. SIDS is a mystery. No one knows what causes it."

Ryan bit his lip, then nodded. "Believe me, I know. Jenny and I have heard every variation of that phrase for the last eight months."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She wasn't entirely sure what she was apologizing for, but she didn't know what else to say.

He cleared his throat. "Anyway, today Jenny showed up at the precinct and handed me the divorce papers. I didn't want to talk to anyone about it, so I brushed it off, but Javie and everyone saw what went down, and they wouldn't leave me alone about it. So when you came out, I just kind of snapped." He finally looked her in the eye. "I'm the one who should be sorry."

For a moment Alexis saw the depth of his pain. It was deep enough to drown in. How could a person live with that much grief inside their body? Then the mask was back up, hiding his emotions.

"Well, I'd better go." He set down his mug. "Thanks for the tea." He paused. "And the pepper spray."

Alexis smiled softly. "Always."

He opened her front door.

"Oh, and Kevin?"

"What?"

"Happy Valentine's Day."

Kevin gave her a funny look, then smiled. "You too, Alexis."

* * *

Author's Note: There you have it. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please please please review. I've got this story all planned out, and we have a long way to go before it's finished. I'd love to get feedback on what's working and what needs work, so please let me know. Thanks for stopping by.


	3. Chapter Three

In My Veins

By: A.K. Hunter

Chapter Three

"And I am finally seeing why I was the one worth leaving." - The Postal Service

* * *

A month had passed since Jenny stuck Kevin with divorce papers. They'd barely spoken since, though not for lack of trying on Kevin's part. He'd texted her several times daily, called every morning and night, and had even gone over to Jenny's parents' house - her temporary home - to talk to her. That particular visit hadn't gone well. Not only had she refused to talk to him, her parents had strongly advised him to sign the divorce papers. "Let her move on," Jenny's father had said. The fact that the request came from a couple of Irish Catholics would have been ironic to Kevin, in different circumstances.

Jenny's things had started to disappear from their apartment. At first he hadn't noticed it, but as the days went on, and their home began to look more and more empty, Kevin realized that she was returning during the day while he was at work and slowly moving out. Kevin had asked her about it in one of his innumerable voice mails. Naturally, she didn't return his call. She absolutely refused to talk to him until the divorce papers were signed and in the custody of her attorney.

Kevin didn't know what to do. The life he wanted, the life he had worked his ass off to create, was slipping through his fingers. The tighter he seemed to hold on, the faster it escaped.

Javier knew. Kevin told him after two days had passed since Jenny served him with papers and she still hadn't come home. The resulting bender they went on was not pretty, but Kevin appreciated the sentiment. It was awful being alone in the apartment, _his and Jenny's apartment_, the home they had created together. The home Sarah had grown in for nearly six months. Without Jenny, the intrinsic meaning of the place ceased to exist. Without Jenny, their home was just an apartment, empty of love, with shattered dreams lying across the nursery floor.

Kevin stared blearily at his computer. Castle and Beckett were vacationing in Mexico, so Javier and Kevin were on their own. Though the two detectives were perfectly capable of solving murders without Beckett and Castle, it was helpful to have two extra sets of hands on the case. Kevin had been looking through the recent vic's financials for over an hour. It was time for more coffee.

They'd finally solved the case of the Valentine's Day carver. Turns out their vic didn't really have such a perfect, boring life. They'd eventually discovered another identity that he used to run an underground drug ring. The vic had been tortured and killed on a professional hit, and the killer was in custody, though he refused to give up the identity of the person who hired him. That wasn't Kevin's problem, though. That would be the DA's problem.

As he got up from his desk, Kevin saw Javier in the break room, watching him. Once he noticed Kevin looking back Javier fumbled, dropping his coffee cup on the floor.

Real smooth, Javie.

His partner's all too sympathetic face made Kevin rethink his need for caffeine. Those sympathetic faces, all he'd seen for the last eight months, were now amplified by the recent development. After Sarah died, Kevin had hoped with time the pity would get better, that people would start treating him like a person instead of kicked puppy. But with Jenny's decision it didn't look like that would happen any time soon. He was back at square one. Poor, sad Kevin. Once he was happy. He was a father, a husband. Now he wasn't any of those things.

His phone rang.

"Ryan."

It was Lanie. Apparently she had something good for them.

"On my way."

He glanced over to the break room, where Javier was still cleaning up his mess. Quickly and quietly, Kevin grabbed his keys and snuck over to the elevator. Javier could keep his sympathy.

Kevin wasn't a father any more, and maybe he was a failure as far as husbands go, but one thing hadn't changed.

He was still a damn good cop.

* * *

Kevin made it four blocks before Javier started calling. He let it go to voice mail. When he got to the hospital, the elevator doors closing in front of him, he wondered if Lanie would get involved in this issue. It was more than likely that she knew. Javier couldn't keep his mouth shut around her.

Kevin supposed Alexis could have told Lanie, but for some reason he didn't think she would do that. Maybe that was giving her more credit than she'd earned. He'd find out soon enough.

Ever since the night with the pepper spray, things had changed between them. There was a camaraderie there that hadn't existed before. She didn't ask about things with Jenny, and he didn't share any more information with her. He had already shared more with her than he was comfortable with. Kevin wasn't sure what possessed him to spill the beans to Alexis of all people. He'd only intended to go to her apartment, offer an apology, and move on. Of course, from the start things hadn't gone as planned. He'd certainly never expected to be maced by Castle's daughter. The memory of that night brought a small smile to his face.

Kevin thought back to the moment on the couch. It nagged at him constantly. The image was seared into his memory: her bright blue eyes staring down at him with dilated pupils, the color across her cheekbones, the way her hair framed her face. And that half-second when her eyes slipped down to his mouth played over and over again in his brain.

The whole thing made him feel a little uneasy. He wondered if Alexis was even aware of the effect it had on him. It was natural, he supposed. She was a beautiful girl and had been so gentle as she washed the pepper spray from his eyes. It had felt so good, not only to have the mace removed from his eyes, but to feel someone's touch on his face, to have someone close by, to feel their weight next to him. He hadn't realized it, but it had been months since he and Jenny had been close like that, even in that shy, platonic manner.

He found himself replaying their conversation in his mind, paying extra attention to the way she acted around him. Despite his discomfort, he couldn't honestly say that she had ever been anything but kind and professional to him.

Except for that moment that he couldn't let go of.

Kevin sighed, running his hands through his hair. He was probably just affection-starved and making something out of nothing.

He burst through the door to the morgue, where Lanie had the body prepped and ready. Alexis wasn't there.

"Hey Lanie. What have you got for me?"

Lanie went over the vic's wounds, and Kevin noticed that she looked a little down. Was she disappointed that Javie hadn't come with him? Kevin had spent the morning listening to Javier stress over the date they had planned that night. The older detective was hell-bent on making it as special as possible, without actually making it _look_ like it was special.

Esplanie, as Castle liked to call them, were a bit of an odd couple. They were completely devoted to each other, though almost pathological in their need to make sure that they weren't exclusive. They pretended to be no-strings-attached, except that was obviously not actually the case. For a moment Kevin felt grateful that things with Jenny had never been that hard, and then he remembered that he and Jenny had their own set of problems.

"I'll call it in to Javie. Thanks Lanie."

He turned to leave, and was almost smacked in the face by the swinging doors as Alexis came in, bearing a tray of instruments. The girl certainly knew how to make an entrance.

"Oh hi!" She said brightly.

Kevin felt a smile spread across his face, suddenly feeling a lot more welcome. "Hey." He noticed Lanie watching their interaction, and decided to take his leave, dialing Javier on the way.

As he waited for the elevator, he heard soft footsteps behind him.

"Kevin?"

He wasn't sure if he was nervous or glad to talk to her without a dead body in the immediate vicinity. He kept his face composed. "Hello again." He got a secret thrill out of watching the blush spread across her face. She kept fidgeting with the file in her arms, and seemed a little jittery. "What's up?"

Alexis took a second to compose herself, then began that rapid-fire speech that Kevin had come to learn was a nervous tic. Naturally, he didn't understand a word of it.

He placed his hands on her shoulders. "Wow, hey. I can't understand a word you say when you talk like that."

Alexis' diatribe paused as she stared into his eyes. She blushed to the roots of her hair, stepping back, away from his touch. "Sorry." She took a deep breath. "I was wondering if you could teach me self-defense."

Kevin blinked.

This was a new one. He didn't know what he had been expecting, but self-defense lessons were not it. "What's this about?"

She looked down at the floor, suddenly getting jittery again. He felt a rush of frustration, not at her, but at whatever or whoever had caused this situation. "Alexis, is someone bothering you?"

Her eyes widened, returning briefly to his own before looking somewhere else. A lying tic.

"No! No, it's nothing like that." She composed herself, her agitated features smoothing over. "I just… I'm working with the police now. It's probably a good skill set to have. And you handled the other night so well. You were so fast. I just thought it would be good to learn." She glanced up at him briefly before returning her gaze to the floor.

Kevin just stared at her for a moment, his instincts telling him something was amiss. His phone rang in his pocket. He ignored it. Alexis displayed all the signals of lying. Why would she lie to him about something like this?

"You know what? Nevermind. Forget I said anything." Alexis said softly, giving him a reassuring smile. She turned to go back to the morgue, and he caught her wrist.

He felt heat flare up his arm at the contact. "Alexis-"

His phone rang again. Kevin pulled it out of his pocket, ready to ignore the caller, but stopped, seeing Jenny's name on the screen.

"You'd better get that." She said, pulling her wrist out of his grasp.

"Yeah," Kevin said distractedly. He stared at his ringing phone for a moment before pressing answer and placing it against his ear.

"Ryan."

That was stupid. Of course it was Kevin Ryan.

If Jenny noticed his blunder, she didn't mention it. She wanted to meet for dinner. The call was short, but Kevin was hopeful.

Did she miss him? Maybe she wanted to reconcile. The thought filled him with relief and excitement. Kevin got on the elevator, practically singing with joy, not realizing that Alexis had left during his phone call and that he never got an answer out of her.

Her strange behavior had completely slipped his mind.

* * *

Kevin met Jenny at the restaurant. It was one of their favorites. Kevin thought this was a hopeful sign. He remembered the countless date nights they spent at the restaurant, leaving late, a little tipsy from their drinks, bellies full of their favorite foods. Surely Jenny wouldn't bring him here if she didn't want to make things work.

He walked in, hoping it would be busy. They could sit together at the bar and chat before eating. He looked around and spotted Jenny already seated at a booth in the corner. Sure enough, it was their favorite spot in the restaurant.

Kevin leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, but she turned away. "I've already ordered. The waiter will be back in a moment to take yours," she said.

Okay, maybe this wouldn't be so good.

He took his jacket off, set it over the back of his seat, and took a spot next to her."Sorry I'm late. Murders, you know."

Jenny just shrugged.

He held her hand. "It's so good to see you. How are you?"

"I'm fine." She took her hand back, placing it in her lap. She didn't seem particularly pleased to see him.

For several minutes they sat in silence, punctuated by Kevin attempting to talk to her. Each time she gave short answers, giving nothing away. Finally Kevin had enough. "Are you mad at me or something?"

She raised a delicate eyebrow at her husband. "Really?"

Her response only made him more frustrated. "It's a genuine question! You invited me here, and now you're acting like you don't even want to talk to me."

"You're a piece of work, you know that? For eight months you buried yourself in your work. Being a 24/7 "super detective." Do you know how long it's been since we were a real couple, Kevin? You checked out of this marriage a long time ago, and now that I want out, you're holding me as an emtional hostage. Tell me, why _wouldn't_ I be angry?"

Kevin was taken aback by the venom in his wife's voice. "I'm trying to make it up to you, Jenny. I've been calling, texting. I tried to talk to you at your parents' house. I'm trying to fix this."

"I don't want you to fix it. I don't want to make this work. I don't want to be married to you anymore."

Kevin felt the last fragments of his heart break. "You don't mean that."

Jenny's face softened. She took his hand, "Yes, Kev. I do. We've been over for a long time now. I just want to make it official." She slid out of the booth and kissed his cheek. "I've got to go. Please sign the papers, Kevin. It's time to move on."

Kevin sat back in the booth, trying to breathe through the crushing grief. He signaled the waiter over, requesting his meal be packaged to go. He'd eat it at home.

Alone.

* * *

Author's Note: Poor Ryan. Things are just getting worse for him. And what's up with Alexis? First she maces Kevin, and now she wants to learn self defense? It's not looking great for these two.

Thanks to Hamlet 77, JamieSpencer4, and all of the lovely guests for reviewing. Again, I'm always interested in feedback, positive or constructively negative, so let me know how you're liking the story thus far. There is a huge shortage of "Rylexis" fanfiction, so I want to make this as compelling as possible for all you wonderful readers. (Any of you lovelies who ship Rylexis and are thinking of writing a story about them, please do! We are a small subfandom. We need more stories!)

Thanks for stopping by,

A.K. Hunter


	4. Chapter Four

In My Veins

By: A.K. Hunter

Chapter Four

"I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart." - Muse

* * *

Alexis missed the sun. Between work and school, she hadn't had a free day in weeks.

Maybe that was just the fate of a premed student.

Or an M.E.

Or both.

Alexis strove for nothing less than excellence in all areas of her life, and that came with a price. Acing the biochem exam usually meant missing out on a party, and proving her worth in her new job meant spending more time with the dead than the living. It was a price she was happy to pay. She loved forensic detection, and, as it turned out, she was really good at it. Her schooling and her time at the morgue were laying the foundation for the rest of her career. She was only a month away from graduation, and then she would start medical school, focusing on forensic pathology, and become a full-fledged M.E. Alexis knew she was lucky to have so many opportunities, and she was grateful for them.

But that didn't mean she enjoyed being cut off from the world.

She had stayed past her official hours, finishing a stack of paperwork for Lanie. Their case was solved, but it still required documentation. There had to be a paper trail. Since Lanie had a date planned with Javier, Alexis took over the final tasks so her friend wouldn't be late. Before Alexis knew it, she had stayed past midnight again. Fortunately it was spring break, and she didn't have to worry about early classes the next morning.

Alexis zipped her jacket against the brisk March air, heading towards the subway station. It was bizarre, staying in the city during spring break. This was the first time in three years that she had stayed. Normally, she'd be off in some exotic location with friends all around her. They'd see the sights, flirt with men, and forget about all their responsibilities for week. It was one of Alexis' favorite times of the year.

Of course, those kinds of activities required friends, and Alexis was a little short on those lately.

Once inside the train, she surveyed the cabin for other people. There were two other passengers at the opposite end. One of them had earbuds in, and the other seemed to be playing a game on his phone. They were oblivious, harmless. Riding the subway so late at night wasn't the safest way to go, but Alexis had lived in New York her entire life. For the most part, she knew how to stay out of harm's way. She knew which streets were safest, which areas of town to avoid completely, and to never go into the park at night. And for those times that common sense wasn't enough, she had her handy-dandy pepper spray.

Alexis dug through her bag, finding the brand new can of pepper spray Kevin had given her. She hadn't been able to find her original can after he'd knocked it out of her grip that night. A couple days later, she'd mentioned the loss to him in passing at a crime scene. The next time she saw him, he'd given her a brand new can of pepper spray, complete with shiny blue bow. When she'd thanked him, he told her she could repay him by never using it on him. They had a good laugh, and then it was business as usual. Dead bodies and detective work.

She couldn't shake the memory of his sad eyes. More than anything else, it stuck with her. She wondered how he was holding up, if things were any better with him and Jenny. Alexis would never ask, of course. He seemed to treasure his privacy. She could relate to that. She was shocked when he told her about the divorce. She had always thought Kevin and Jenny were the perfect couple. They seemed so in love, so devoted to each other. She imagined them as the kind of couple that stayed together through thick and thin.

Maybe there was no such thing as a perfect couple.

The thought made her stomach twist with guilt. Another memory of Kevin had been haunting Alexis, in a different way. It kept her up late at night, cheeks flushed, body tingling.

She wondered, over and over again, what would have happened if she had kissed him. At the time, it was a fleeting thought, borne of her attraction for the detective. She wasn't ashamed of it. Kevin was empirically handsome, with his lean muscles, bright blue eyes, and kind smile. Asserting that Kevin was a very attractive man was like saying the heart was responsible for pumping blood through the body. It was an indisputable fact. No, she wasn't ashamed of that moment of attraction.

It was all the time she had spent since then, agonizing over that moment, wishing that she had acted on it, that made her feel guilty. He was a married man. A married man - who was probably too old for her - with all kinds of baggage that she couldn't hope to understand. Alexis had no business fantasizing about him.

She hoped he and Jenny could work it out. Really, she did. Alexis didn't know what was going on with Jenny, but Kevin was clearly wrecked. He was a good man. Flawed, yes. Broken? Probably, a little. But he still deserved happiness.

Alexis' blood pressure spiked as she thought about the way Kevin had questioned her earlier that day. She hoped he hadn't realized how close to the truth he really was. There was a specific reason she began carrying pepper spray, and it wasn't because she was suddenly paranoid about living in New York. She'd thought that learning to defend herself would help, but with the hours she was pulling she'd have to learn from someone with a similar schedule, and Kevin had seemed like the logical choice. They were friends now, sort of. At the time, she hadn't thought twice about asking him, but his response gave her pause.

Thank God for that phone call.

Alexis couldn't ask Javier, he'd tell Lanie, who would then tell Kate, and it would inevitably get back to her dad that his daughter didn't feel safe. She'd just have to make due with vigilance and pepper spray.

She was probably overreacting anyway.

Alexis trudged up the stairs to her apartment, stopping in from of her door with a yawn. Music was playing inside; Emma was home. Her roommate treated music like oxygen, it had to be around her constantly. Alexis didn't mind it. During the few occasions they were home at the same time, Emma's taste had been very agreeable. Alexis had even learned of a few new bands through Emma. As far as roommates go, Alexis felt pretty lucky.

She unlocked the deadbolt, walking into the living area. Most of the lights were off, a dull glow emanating from her roommate's bedroom. Music was playing on the iHome on the kitchen counter. Emma left it on all the time. She was probably plugged in to her cell phone, listening in her bedroom.

Alexis set her bag down, making her way over to the music player. She paused it, then reached over to turn the kitchen light on. As the lights went on, something slammed against the side of her head.

She stumbled against the wall, instinctively covering her now bleeding skull. As soon as she hit the ground, her vision blurry and her mind disoriented, her arms were pinned down. She screamed, but a large hand roughly covered her mouth. Alexis sank her teeth into the attacker's palm, drawing blood.

"You bitch!"

The exclamation threw cold water over Alexis' senses. She shook her head, trying to clear the fog, then backed up as she recognized the face hovering over hers.

Max. Her pepper spray had his name on it.

She scrambled to her feet, reaching for her bag, but her concussed, unsteady gait was no match for him. He threw her down on the hardwood, and when she screamed again, he delivered a merciless right hook to her face.

"Shut up!"

Stars lit up behind her eyes at the impact, her head smacked against the unforgiving wood. He was trying to make her confused and disoriented. She'd be easier to subdue.

It was working.

Alexis scooted away, kicking up at his knees. He grabbed her foot, pulling her body flush against his. She pulled her arm back and punched him as hard as she could, right in the face. White hot pain flared up her arm at the contact. The hit seemed to be more surprising than painful. He smirked at her and grabbed a handful of her mussed, bloody hair, pulling her up to his face.

"I told you I'd stop by for a visit, 'Lex."

She spat in his face, and he backhanded her.

At that moment, Emma walked through the front door. She took in the sight of her bloodied roommate on the floor, pinned under a strange man, and screamed.

Alexis used that opportunity to pull her leg out of his grasp and knee him in the crotch. Hard. He went down like a sack of potatoes. She pushed him off her, then rolled to her feet.

The world around her spun, and Alexis fell to her knees, vision fading to white. She collapsed against the hardwood.

Far away she heard a heavy thump, then a groan of pain. Everything went silent, then gentle, warm hands pressed against her cold face. Rough fabric rubbed against her skin. Someone was holding pressure to her head.

"Alexis?" Emma's panicked voice cleared through the fog.

Alexis' eyes shot open and she gasped, her body fighting to stay conscious.

"Call 911," Alexis rasped, feeling suddenly nauseous. A shiver ran through her body, and sweat broke out on the back of her neck. The room was doing that unfortunate spinning thing again. With each beat of her pulse, pain shot through her head._  
_

"They're on their way. Alexis? Alexis, stay with me..."

Words formed on Alexis' tongue. Instructions from years of first aid classes, important knowledge from countless semesters of anatomy.

Keep holding pressure. Elevate the knees so there's more blood for the vital organs. Keep the patient warm. Don't let them lose consciousness. Watch for signs of inter-cranial bleeding: seizures, vomiting, lethargy, difficulty speaking.

Alexis knew exactly what to do in an emergency.

Except, those words never left her mouth.

As the world slipped away, the sound of sirens weaving through her last seconds of consciousness, Alexis wished she had kissed Kevin after all.

* * *

Author's Note: I'm just going to leave this here... Please review!

Thanks to nmcowgirl08, popie92, Caskettlover always41319, JamieSpencer4, SumNumb3rs, sherlollies4857, and all the fabulous guests for reviewing the last chapter. I hope you all enjoy this new chapter as well. The next update should be tomorrow or Friday, and will feature tons of Kevin/Rylexis goodness.

Thanks for stopping by.

A.K. Hunter


	5. Chapter Five

In My Veins

By: A.K. Hunter

Chapter Five

"Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while, but, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles." - Anna Nalick

* * *

That had to be the worst date ever.

Except, could you really call it a date?

Kevin lay in bed, staring at the bare walls of his now-empty apartment. He couldn't stop his mind from replaying every horrifying, uncomfortable moment of his evening.

_I don't want to be married to you any more.__  
_

He couldn't reconcile this angry, bitter woman with all the happy memories of his wife. Kevin had long thought Jenny was the kindest, sweetest person in the world, and everyone they met had agreed with him. When had she changed so much?

And how had he not noticed it?

He hadn't signed the papers. In fact, he'd chucked them in the garbage as soon as he got back to the office that day. They were probably in a landfill somewhere, and he wasn't about to ask her for a new set. At first Kevin had believed that if he stood his ground, she would eventually come to her senses and they would reconcile. Now he wasn't sure.

What if she didn't change her mind?

Kevin continued feeling sorry for himself, trying to figure out how to get his wife to stay, when his cell phone rang. He glanced at the time. It was almost two in the morning.

He blearily answered, "Ryan."

A man's voice came through the phone. "This is Officer Wells with the 8th Precinct. I'm calling about an assault-"

Kevin impatiently cut him off. "I'm a homicide detective, officer. Unless your assault victim is dead, it's not my department." He ended the call, dropping his cell phone onto his mattress. His thoughts almost immediately returned to Jenny. He wasn't ready to be done stewing in his own misery.

His phone rang again. The call came from the same number. The rookie obviously couldn't take a hint. Kevin answered, ready to give the officer a piece of his mind. This time the officer interrupted _him_.

"I know who you are, detective. So the does the vic. She's asking for you."

Ryan's stomach twisted, his mind running through all the possibilities. Beckett was in Mexico with Castle. Lanie was with Espo… What about Jenny? Did something happen to her? She was so angry when she left. What if she had been attacked after their date?

"Who's the vic?", Kevin asked, heart full of dread.

"Alexis Castle."

His world shifted for just one moment. He hadn't even considered her. Who would hurt Alexis? Suddenly their last encounter made a terrible sort of sense.

_Will you teach me self-defense?_

Kevin's heart constricted. "Where is she?" He was already in motion, pulling on clothes.

"Manhattan General ER."

"And the attacker?" He had to know. If the son of a bitch was still out there...

"He's in police custody."

"I'm on my way."

He ended the call, grabbed his badge, wallet, and keys, and ran out of the apartment. With shaking hands, he started the car. What had happened to her? Who would do something like that? Was she being threatened? His sharp mind ran through their last encounter, picking out details he hadn't taken the time to notice: the way she babbled nervously at him, how she wouldn't make eye contact...

The pepper spray.

Kevin could have kicked himself. She felt unsafe even back then. That's why she reacted so defensively when he grabbed her arm outside her apartment. That's why he'd gotten maced in the first place.

The worst part was that he _knew_ something was wrong. All of the signs were staring him in the face, but he'd been too preoccupied with Jenny to pay attention to them.

Kevin made it to the hospital in record time. He went directly to the ER, flashing his badge at the security guards. He'd questioned a lot of people in the ER, he knew it like the back of his hand.

He stopped a passing nurse and asked for Alexis.

"Bay 7."

He stopped in front of the med bay. The curtain was closed. Kevin took a deep breath, trying to steady himself before barging in.

At first, he only saw red. Crimson spatters on her clothes, dark sienna clumps in her hair, and a swollen maroon ring around her eye that he swore was darkening by the second, all made more pronounced by the pallor of her skin.

Then he noticed the stark bandage around her head, the ice pack on her hand, and the way her bruised eye was almost swollen shut. Kevin was suddenly struck with the urge to hunt down whoever was responsible and return the damage in kind.

"Hey."

Her voice shook him away from his murderous thoughts. Kevin just stared at her for a moment, fully taking her in. He was at a loss for words, not seeing a chair, he sat at the edge of her bed. "Alexis, what happened?"

She bit her pale, chapped lip. "Well-"

The curtain was pulled back by a tall woman in scrubs and a lab coat. "Oh, great! I see your friend is here. Hi, I'm Dr. Larson."

"Kevin Ryan," he said, holding out his hand.

Kevin stood awkwardly off to the side while the doctor leaned over and began shining a light in the redhead's eyes. "Should I come back later?"

The physician merely smiled, "Not at all, Kevin. I'm just doing a quick exam and then I'll have a nurse bring the discharge instructions and you two will be able to head home."

He nodded, then paused as her words penetrated his tired mind. "Wait, what? What about the officer I talked to? Don't they need to take a statement?"

"They already got my statement. My cell phone is still at my apartment, so I asked them to contact the dispatcher to get your number," Alexis said, looking just as tired as he felt.

The doctor frowned. "Alexis has a mild concussion. She needs to be monitored for the next 24 to 48 hours." She looked at Alexis, then back at Ryan. "You are here to take her home, aren't you? We can't let her leave if she's alone."

From behind the doctor, Alexis nodded at him meaningfully.

"I... am?" He said uncertainly. Ryan was completely thrown by the turn of events. He thought she had called him down to the hospital to fulfill his role as a cop, it had never occurred to him that she'd called him to take care of her. He wasn't sure he was up to the job.

Alexis nodded even more vigorously from behind the physician, then grimaced, holding her head in her good hand.

Dr. Larson mistook Alexis' pain. "Sweetie, do we need to increase your medication? Rate your pain for me."

The redhead smiled weakly, "I'm fine. I don't need any more drugs." She looked meaningfully at Kevin. "I just want to go home."

It seemed the detective had no choice. "So, you said something about discharge paperwork?"

* * *

"I'm sorry to bring you out here, Detective Ryan. They wouldn't let me leave if I didn't have someone to take care of me. Dad and Beckett are in Mexico, Grams is at a technology-free spa for the week, and I didn't want to bother Lanie since she was so excited about that date... Well, you seemed like the only choice."

Kevin was secretly impressed with how deftly Alexis had manipulated him. There was something distinctly Castle-esque about the whole thing. He was sure her desire to leave had something to do with the victims of the twelve car pileup that flooded the ER shortly after his arrival. Alexis was nothing if not selfless. It was one of the things he admired about her. "It's fine." He began directed the car towards his apartment.

"There's a hotel a couple blocks away you can drop me at. I'll stay there until I can get a hold of Dad or Grams."

He almost slammed on the brakes. "_What_?"

"Don't worry, I never intended to impose on you. Take a left at the next light."

Maybe it was the crappy day he'd had, or the fact that it was tomorrow and he still hadn't slept, but suddenly, Kevin was furious. He pulled the car over in one swift motion. "What the hell are you talking about?"

A crease appeared between her eyebrows. "I know you've got a lot going on right now. I would never actually ask you to take care of me, I just needed someone to sign me out of the ER. I'm okay. I'm fine. I can look after myself," Alexis said. She stared at him directly. No avoiding eye contact, no erratic speech. She honestly believed that even with her injuries she was better equipped to take care of herself than he was.

It kind of hurt.

She sounded so matter of fact, defiant even. It was as if she hadn't been assaulted, as if it wasn't 3:47 a.m., as if she wasn't alone in the world. He wasn't sure which pissed him off more, her nonchalance in the face of a traumatic experience, or her complete lack of faith in him. He had a lot going on? What did that even mean? He was too busy with his shattered personal life to help a friend in need?

She was a friend, he realized. A colleague. And even more importantly, she was the daughter of one of his best friends and the stepdaughter of one of his partners. He wasn't about to leave her to deal with this by herself. Everyone else in her life might be busy, but tonight she wasn't alone. She had him.

Kevin shook his head, "Let's get one thing straight. There's no way in hell I'm leaving you alone tonight. You got that? You've been _attacked_, you are injured. You need help right now, Alexis. You didn't want to stay in the hospital. Fine. Whatever. That's your choice. But I get a choice here too, and I'm choosing to help you. You're not going to some hotel, you're coming home with me. And until your family comes back, you're stuck with me. Got it?" He pulled the car away from the curb, heading in the direction of his apartment.

Alexis' good eye was as wide as a saucer at Kevin's speech. She recovered quickly, "I'm an adult, Detective Ryan. I don't need you to take care of me."

"Is that so?" he said without interest, then added. "I told you, call me Kevin."

The redhead sighed irritably, then called him a few things. None of them was "Kevin," but all of them would have made even Javie blush.

* * *

Alexis looked like hell.

She stood in front of the bathroom mirror, surveying the damage. Between the blood and the giant bandage, her hair was matted against her head. She finger-combed the ends, trying to gain some semblance of personal tidiness. Each little tug sent tiny shocks of pain through her wounded scalp, especially around the laceration. She'd have to change the bandage tomorrow. She was days away from being able to wash her hair.

She tried not to look at her face too much. The constant throbbing around her eye was bad enough without the visual component. She was fortunate Max hadn't fractured her eye socket or cheekbone. Just thinking about what could have happened made her heart race, she gripped the edge of the sink, taking deep breaths.

"Alexis? Are you okay in there?"

The knock at the bathroom door made her flinch. She closed her eyes, pulling herself back to the present. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute."

She focused on her tasks. Brush your teeth. Wash your face. She peeled open the brand new toothbrush Kevin had given her, an awkward undertaking with only one good hand. Everyday tasks suddenly felt impossible.

Fresh clothes helped. The detective had offered her an old NYPD t-shirt and and a pair of pajama bottoms, assuring her that he'd go get some of her own clothes as soon as her apartment was no longer a crime scene. Alexis had immediately thrown her bloodstained clothes into the garbage. She never wanted to look at them again. The worn, cotton t-shirt was soft against her skin, smelling of laundry detergent and distantly, Kevin.

She recalled the way he'd spoken to her in the car, and the way she'd responded. Alexis sighed, placing the toothbrush on the counter. She had acted like an ungrateful brat, and he'd been nothing but kind to her.

She glanced at the clock on the wall. 4:26 a.m. What a lousy night. The least she could do was stop hiding out in the bathroom so he could get some sleep.

Alexis carefully padded out to the living room. She could hear Kevin in the kitchen, cups clinking together. It all felt surreal. She perched herself on his couch, resting her face in her hands. Her head had started pounding again.

"Hey, you okay?"

Kevin sank into the cushion next to her, laying a warm hand across her lower back.

She sat up, "Just a headache." She smiled weakly at him. "Did you call my dad?"

"Yeah. Left a message," he said apologetically.

She nodded. Even though her dad and Kate were in another country, they were only two hours behind New York. They were probably asleep. "Thanks... And thanks for coming to get me. For being here for me." Tears stung at the back of her eyes. She forced them back, clearing her throat. Despite everything, she hadn't cried yet tonight, and she wasn't about to break that streak.

"Of course. Glad to be at the bottom of your emergency contact list," he joked.

She appreciated his attempt to lighten the mood. He offered her a steaming mug of mystery liquid.

"What is this?"

"Honeymilk. A Ryan family specialty," he said proudly. "I figured after the night we've both had we could use some."

Alexis had heard of his famous honeymilk. She'd always wanted to try it. "Thanks." She took a sip, and almost immediately gagged. "It's... good."

He frowned. "You don't like it?"

She quickly set down the mug, wishing she had something to rinse her mouth out with. It was just too sweet. "No, it's great! I'm just not very thirsty."

"Alexis Castle, you are a terrible liar." He got up, heading back to the kitchen. "What else can I get you?"

"Water is great. Would you please grab my meds too?"

He returned with her beverage and pill bottle, letting her take the medication and set the glass down before asking, "So, are you going to tell me what happened?"

Alexis tensed, then said, "It can wait until tomorrow. I'm sure you're ready to get some sleep."

He shook his head. "I'm fine. Go ahead."

She bit her lip, "I really don't know if I can talk about it yet."

"Just try."

"Kevin..." her voice came out as a desperate plea. She could feel a panic attack coming on.

He moved closer to her, trying to be comforting, but she shied away. He sighed, "Okay. It's okay. You don't have to talk about it right now." They sat in silence for a moment, Alexis trying to catch her breath. "We should probably get some sleep. I've got a bed in the guest room made up for you."

She nodded, and followed him down the hall. The guest room was next to the bathroom, containing a futon - laid out with fresh sheets and a pillow - and a veritable mountain of baby supplies. A lone crib sat in the corner, filled with haphazardly stacked boxes. The walls were painted in a soft yellow, with pink accents here and there. Alexis held back a gasp. It hadn't always been a guest room.

"Sorry, it's a little messy," Kevin said, running a hand through his hair. "But the futon's really comfy. Hopefully you'll sleep well on it."

"It's great," she whispered, still shocked by her surroundings. She cleared her throat. "Thank you, Kevin."

"If you need anything, I'm just down the hall," he said as she walked into the room and sat down on the futon.

"Okay."

He turned to leave, then stopped. "Hey, Alexis?"

"Yeah?"

He paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. "I understand wanting to avoid it. Wanting to run away from what happened to you. But the longer you run away from it, the more power you give to whoever did this to you. We don't have to talk about it tonight or tomorrow, or ever. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I hope that you can talk to someone about this." He locked eyes with her. "You're an amazing girl, Alexis. And you're strong enough to handle this. Don't forget that."

She couldn't breathe. Kevin's words spun around in her head long after he had left the room. _You're an amazing girl_. She didn't feel amazing. She felt battered. Exhausted. She lay back on the futon, her head swimming. Max. Kevin. Sarah.

She glanced around the room once more. It was like a dilapidated shrine to Kevin's late daughter. They probably hadn't been able to get rid of any of it. There was even a box of unused diapers among the chaos, and a layer of dust lay over everything except the futon. Alexis wondered when Kevin or Jenny had been in here last.

Jenny's absence in the apartment was acute, even to a newcomer like Alexis. Pictures of the couple were everywhere, there was a feminine touch to the apartment's design, and yet, all of the belongings she'd seen were distinctly masculine. Jenny was a ghost. Gone, but still there, haunting the apartment.

Alexis felt a little strange, sleeping in Kevin's apartment - Sarah's nursery, no less - with Jenny gone. She tried to get comfortable, feeling the medication depressing her system. Kevin's speech played again in her head.

_The longer you run from it, the more power you give to it. _

Would he be able to help her face this new reality? She doubted it. Her room for the night was evidence of his own avoidance. She realized that he had never actually acknowledge the all the baby supplies. He had just called it "messy."

No, he couldn't teach her how to deal. He was too busy running from his own demons.

Alexis rolled over, her mind and eyelids heavy.

Maybe they could teach each other.

* * *

Author's Note: This is a long note, so bear with me. There are prizes for those that make it to the end!

PHEW! Finally, there it is. Sorry about the long wait, I've been bogged down by finals and this chapter has just been HARD to write. I'm still not totally happy with it. Hopefully it ended up okay. Please let me know what you think! I tried really hard to keep it in-character considering the circumstances. Do you think Alexis will tell Ryan what happened? Kevin has sworn to take care of Alexis until Castle gets back. What do you think will happen with that?

Many thanks to Hamlet 77, castlefan51, nmcowgirl08, JamieSpencer4, CBurns1995, TXMedic, SumNumb3rs, 3-left-turns, lezzles1956, lovebirds413, jazzyjenn5, sherlollies4857, amazingluv, CalypsoEm, and all the amazing anonymous reviewers for taking the time to give feedback on the last chapter. It has really been motivating to have these reviews pop up in my inbox over the last couple weeks, so please keep 'em coming! I'm really loving the sense of community that has been happening with this story. The same people have been making time, over and over, to stop by and review and I LOVE that. Thanks so much!

Just an FYI. I've changed the structure of this story somewhat. Rather than dedicating separate chapters to Kevin or Alexis' narratives, I'm going to start combining them. This will move the story at a faster pace (yay), cuts the number of chapters in half (double yay), and gives you, the readers, bigger chapters (triple yay!). I figured it's a good move all around. That being said, this is still a really long story and these two still have quite a ways to go. Hopefully you'll continue to enjoy it and stick with it!

Now on to the prizes!

I feel about making you guys wait almost two weeks longer than anticipated, so here are some goodies to enhance your reading experience.

1. I've created a Spotify playlist for "In My Veins". It's a comprehensive soundtrack for the entire story, with anywhere from 1-3 songs dedicated to each chapter. For those interested in listening to it, open up Spotify and search Soundtrack to "In My Veins." If you have any problems finding it, just let me know. I hope you like it!

2. I've created a Rylexis community! It's called "For the love of Rylexis" and currently has about ten Rylexis stories in it. Feel free to submit more! Lets make this C2 grow!

3. I'm currently open to requests. Is there something you'd like to see happen in the course of this story? Silly, serious, or sexy (within reason). Leave me a comment with your request, and I'll see about adding it to the story! I've got all the bigger plot points mapped out already, but there's still plenty of room for smaller plot threads or events and I'd love to get you wonderful readers involved in this story.

That's all! See you soon for the next installment.

Best,

A.K. Hunter


	6. Chapter Six

In My Veins

By: A.K. Hunter

Chapter Six

"I've spent half this morning thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in." - Birdy

* * *

Kevin felt like he had just barely managed to fall asleep when his cell phone rang. It was Javie.

"Bro, I got your messages. What happened?"

Ryan filled him in on the situation, trying to be detached even though he wanted nothing more than to hunt down the guy who had hurt Alexis.

"How is she?"

"Alexis is a tough girl. She's been holding it together." Kevin paused, remembering how close she'd been to crying the night before.

He heard muffled voices at the other end of the line. "Hey, we're coming over. Lanie wants to make sure the ER doc didn't miss anything."

Kevin nodded, though Javier couldn't see him. "That sounds great. Would you stop by Alexis' apartment? I'm sure it's open now, and she needs some clothes."

"I'm on it. Be there soon."

Kevin checked the time. 7:57 a.m. It had been about three hours since they'd called it a night, and probably a little over an hour since he'd actually fallen asleep. He hoped Alexis had slept well, since it was time to check on her. The ER's discharge instructions had specified waking her every few hours to make sure she hadn't slipped into a coma.

He padded down the hallway and stopped in the guest room doorway, watching Alexis. She was stretched out across the futon, blankets twisted between her legs, snoring slightly.

She was beautiful.

She was a mess of course, with matted hair and half of her face a blend of black and blue. Still, she was beautiful. Her russet hair and ivory skin like some fae princess from the stories his grandmother used to tell him.

Kevin shook his head. Where had that come from?

He hated to wake her, but he couldn't stomach the alternative. Kevin sat at the edge of the futon, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Alexis."

She didn't so much as twitch. The meds must be working their magic. He leaned closer, shaking her. "Ale-"

The redhead shot awake, smacking her forehead into Kevin's face with surprising force. She clapped her hands over her head with a wince, still not quite awake despite the pain. "K-Kevin?"

The detective was busy lying on the floor, clutching his cheekbone. A metallic flavor spread across his tongue. He'd bitten the inside of his cheek. "Who else?"

Alexis leaned over the edge of the futon, watching Kevin inspect his injury. She felt a little dizzy. "Are you alright?" She moved to help him off the floor, but caught her legs in the blanket.

"No, Alexis, don't-" The air was knocked out of his lungs as the redhead landed on top of him, bringing the nest of blankets with her. Forget princess, the girl was a force of nature.

"Sorry!" she squealed, finding it difficult to move with her legs tangled and only one good hand. She tried to roll off of him, but was stopped by his arm around her waist.

At some point in her struggle, Alexis' t-shirt had been tugged off to one side, revealing inches of pale shoulder. Kevin felt his mouth go dry, and even though he immediately brought his gaze up to her face, the image was burned into his memory. She stared down at him, her face bright red where she wasn't hurt. She held herself up with one hand, their bodies pressed together from their chests down. It must have looked bad, but Kevin found himself savoring the moment. It had been too long since he'd had a beautiful woman in his arms.

"Help," she said with a small, embarrassed smile.

Her voice was like cold water, snapping him back to the present. Cradling her in his arms, he carefully rolled her over onto her back, laying on his side next to her. Despite their changed positions, he found his gaze drawn down to her mouth, inches away. She was so close.

Too close.

"So... good morning," he said, trying to break some of the tension.

Alexis laughed, and he felt more at ease. "Good morning, Kevin. What time is it?"

"Almost eight."

"Ah. Thanks for checking on me." She slowly sat up. "Sorry about your face."

"It's alright. I've come to expect it when you're around."

She bit back a grin, "At least it wasn't pepper spray."

"You're right. But the day is young, there's still time," he said solemnly.

"That's a bit dramatic."

"Hey, I'm just saying, a ruggedly handsome face like mine can only take so much abuse."

"Ruggedly handsome, huh?"

"Obviously," Kevin said. Was he flirting with her? He stood up, offering her a hand.

She gingerly touched her forehead, wincing. "Well, I'm pretty sure your 'rugged handsomeness' gave me another concussion."

He stepped forward, gently taking her face in his hands and brushing a kiss across her forehead. He had done it without thinking. Instantly, that familiar tension returned to the room. She tensed beneath his touch, staring up at him. Neither of them moved or breathed, caught in each other's eyes.

"Thanks," she whispered, breaking the spell.

He drew his hands back, stepping away. "You're welcome." He cleared his throat."Uh, Javie and Lanie are coming over. They should be here soon, so if you wanted to get ready or anything, I'll leave you to it." He quickly cleared the room, leaving Alexis alone.

She sat down on the edge of the futon, her heart racing. Had that just happened? She ran through the last few minutes in her mind. Maybe she'd imagined the sexual tension, but she definitely hadn't imagined the kiss. He'd kissed her - in a sweet, platonic way - but it was still a kiss.

The sleep deprivation must be getting to him.

She'd been trying very hard to keep her little crush under control, especially while she was staying with the detective. This new turn of events made it much more difficult. It was so easy to play things over in her mind: the weight of his arm around her waist, the heat of his body pressed up against hers, the gentle pressure of his fingertips on her face, and that ghost of a touch against her forehead.

She grabbed a pillow, pressed her face against it, and groaned.

She needed to get it together. She needed to pretend that a friendly kiss wasn't a world-changing event. Because it wasn't. It didn't change anything. Kevin was still unattainable. He probably still saw her as the fifteen-year-old he'd met when her dad had started working with Kate. Maybe she saw him romantically, but he sure as hell didn't see her that way.

A twinge of pain shot through her head, reminding her why she was in his home in the first place. He was helping her out because there was no one else. He was just doing the right thing. It would be unfair to assume anything else.

A dull headache began to set in, and Alexis rubbed at her forehead.

Besides, she had bigger things to worry about than a handsome, older detective.

* * *

Twenty minutes (and one very cold shower) later, Kevin was making coffee. He carefully measured the grounds and water, directing his thoughts to how he would manage working from home for a day. He'd done it before, and since they'd closed their most recent case it wouldn't be a bad time to take a day. He could handle the paperwork at home.

He definitely wasn't thinking about the redhead in his guest room. Or whatever had transpired between them. No, he was focused on more important, _appropriate_ thoughts for a thirty-one-year old man.

There was a sharp knock at the front door. Kevin rushed over, letting Javier and Lanie in. Their faces mirrored concern, and Kevin suddenly remembered exactly why there were there.

"Where is she?" Lanie asked, holding a bag over her shoulder, presumably packed with Alexis' things.

"Hi, guys."

Alexis stood at the end of the hallway, looking very self-conscious. To Kevin, she looked much better than she had the night before. At least her clothes weren't covered in blood. He tried not to think about how good she looked in his old NYPD shirt.

Lanie gasped at the sight of her friend, and Espo gritted his teeth. Kevin could tell his partner was furious.

"Oh honey," Lanie said. She lifted up the bag in her arms. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up." The ME ushered Alexis into the bathroom.

Javier sat down on the couch with a ragged sigh. "Poor girl. Her apartment was a mess."

"It was that bad, huh?"

"Yeah, man. Blood everywhere. Furniture turned over, broken glass. It honestly looked like a murder scene."

Ryan curled his hands into fists. "Do you know what happened?"

Javie nodded, "Sort of. Ran into the roommate on my way in. She was packing up. Couldn't stay in the apartment after what happened. I guess the attacker was a friend of Alexis. Emma wasn't exactly sure what happened, the guy, Max, used to come around a lot. He and Alexis are in the same program. Alexis would help him with his studies. Then he suddenly stopped coming around and Alexis never told her why."

Ryan shook his head. "Well, that's more than I knew before. Alexis doesn't want to talk about it."

"Give it time, bro."

"Yeah."

"Have you heard from Beckett and Castle?"

"Not yet. We're trying though."

Javier nodded. "Well, I'll hold things down at the office. All we've got is paperwork from the last case."

Kevin nodded. "Thanks brother."

"How's she doing, really?"

Kevin sighed. "She's not talking about it. It's like the elephant in the room. But otherwise, she's keeping it together." Kevin rubbe eyes. "She looks so terrible. I can't help but feel responsible."

"Why?"

"Yesterday, before any of this happened, she came to me, asking for self-defense lessons. I was preoccupied with Jenny, but all the signs were there, Javie. I should have known something was wrong. Maybe this whole thing could have been prevented if I had just paid more attention."

"Bro, this isn't your fault. It's that asshole who hurt her in the first place."

"I know, but-"

"You're already doing everything you can to help her, Kev."

"Yeah." He sighed.

Lanie came out, looking just as sad and tired as Kevin and Javier.

Kevin looked up, "How is she?"

"She's sleeping again. We got her cleaned up, in some fresh clothes. I don't think the ER missed anything. She seems stable." She sat down by Javier. "Poor Alexis."

"I know."

"Kevin, you look like you haven't slept. I can take her home. I'm due for some vacation anyway," Lanie said.

Kevin shook his head. "No, it's fine. I'll keep on eye on her."

"Are you sure?"

It was then that Kevin realized Lanie had seen the state of the office-slash-nursery. Back to square one. Back to being poor, sad Kevin. "Yes, Lanie. I'm sure. I've got this."

Lanie gave him a strange look. "Okay, well, just keep an eye on her. She's probably okay to sleep as long as she wants. She doesn't seem too disoriented."

Kevin nodded.

Javier stood up. "Well, I'd better get into the office before Gates thinks we all took a vacation. Let me know if you need anything bro."

Kevin nodded. After the couple left he called Castle again, "Castle, it's Ryan. Call me back please. It's about Alexis."

He settled on the couch with a book, unsure of what to do. He hadn't spent this much time in his apartment in months. The place didn't feel like a home anymore, just a place to sleep and hang his clothes. He thought about the girl asleep in the other room and all the questions he still had about her ordeal. The whole thing was a mess and Kevin had no idea what to do.

Maybe he should have let Lanie take her. Alexis and the ME were close, she'd be better taken care of.

Kevin tiredly rubbed his face, wondering why he was so adamant about keeping her at his apartment. It was a knee-jerk reaction that he couldn't explain. Somehow, he'd come to enjoy the girl's presence, though he was carefully to not look too closely into the reason why.

Their interaction that morning still played over in the back of his mind. If he concentrated he could remember how soft her skin felt under his fingertips.

Kevin shook himself and opened his book, the newest Nikki Heat novel. He needed to look at the situation objectively. Alexis was a colleague, his best friend's daughter. She was ten years younger than him and in a tough, vulnerable situation. Thinking of her romantically, or really any other way than platonically, was wrong. It would be taking advantage of her youth and vulnerability, and Kevin was a better man than that.

He flipped the pages to chapter one, focusing on the book.

Besides, Alexis deserved far more than he could ever give her.

* * *

Alexis awoke with a start. She sat up, chest heaving. Despite the pain medication, her body wasn't handling sleep as well as she had hoped. Looking at the clock, she realized, disheartened, that she had only been sleeping for a couple of hours.

She let her feet fall over the edge of the bed. At least she was clean. Lanie had helped her bathe and given her fresh clothes, her own clothes, to wear. Her hair was no longer matted, and despite the constant aching all over her body, she felt a bit better.

Her stomach rumbled, and Alexis decided to venture out of the guest room for food. She paused as she walked out of the hallway, seeing Kevin sprawled out across the couch, the latest copy of her dad's book open on his chest. She smiled at the sight. There was something about the detective, sprawled across the couch in jeans and a t-shirt, normally perfectly-gelled hair mussed, that made her weak in the knees.

She snuck into the kitchen, determined to make an early lunch for the two of them. That was what guests did for their completely platonic friends, right?

Kevin's cupboards were more or less bare. And his fridge was full of old takeout containers. It was all very bachelor-esque, which was sad considering he wasn't actually a bachelor. She found some cans of soup, and began to heat them up.

Alexis settled into her tasks, taking great pains to not think about the sleeping man in the next room.

"I thought I was supposed to be taking care of you," a soft voice behind her said.

Alexis held in a shriek, turning around. "Don't scare me like that! It's not nice to sneak up on people." Somehow he looked even more handsome when he was awake. The man knew how to wear a t-shirt, she realized.

He tried to take the spoon from her hand. "Go sit down, I've got this."

She shook her head. "You've already done more than enough. I'm fine." She gestured to the table. "Would you grab some bowls please?"

The detective did as he was asked, and before long they sat at the table together. She'd never sat with him, eating a meal before. She had no idea what to say or do. "You should probably buy some food at some point."

Kevin gave her a wry smile. "Probably. With the long hours at the precinct, I don't have a lot of time for home-cooked meals. Doesn't seem worth it to cook for one."

Alexis wondered if she had put her foot in it with him. "Sorry."

Kevin shrugged, "It's fine."

A new kind of awkward tension set in between them. Alexis didn't know how to fix it. Did they really have anything to talk about outside of work?

"How are they going to hold down the bull pen without you?" She joked.

"I'm sure they'll manage."

Here was the hard part. They were colleagues, friendly acquaintances, but neither one knew enough about the other to have a real, comfortable conversation over food. There were obvious conversational topics of course, like Jenny's absence and Alexis' assault. But neither of those topics were on the table.

Alexis eyed the crossword on his kitchen table. "Capricious."

"Huh?"

She pointed to the crossword. "A ten-letter word for changing often and quickly."

He picked up the crossword with a thoughtful face. "You're right." He quickly wrote in the word.

She noticed one of his own entries. "Zephyrus?"

He smiled knowingly. "Greek God of the west wind. Eight letters."

"I never would have taken you for a crossword junkie, Kevin."

"I daresay there's a lot about me that you don't know," he said with a wink.

She felt heat rise in her face as she stared at him. "You're probably right."

The detective opened his mouth to speak, then seemed to think better of it. He gave her a sheepish smile, then took a big gulp of soup.

The silence was cut by the ringing phone. Kevin's phone. The caller id flashed, "Castle."

Alexis took the phone from him, taking a deep breath before answering. "Hi, Dad." She walked back to the guest she closed the door he heard her say, "I'm okay, dad. Really."

Kevin sighed, replacing his crossword book. She was such a hero, even when she didn't have to be. Alexis was a fun, smart girl. It was easy to forget exactly why she was there. He sat patiently in the kitchen for a few minutes, then cleaned up their dishes when he got bored. Finally, Kevin had waited long enough. It had been nearly thirty minutes since Alexis had taken the phone call.

Feeling slightly guilty he snuck down the hallway to the guest bedroom. Sniffles and sobs penetrated the mostly closed doorway. He felt his heart fall into his stomach. He knocked on the door, then stuck his head in.

"Hey, everything okay?" Kevin immediately berated himself. What a stupid question.

Alexis quickly wiped her face. "Yes, I'm fine." Her voice was rough, and her eyes were bloodshot.

Kevin sat down next to her on the futon, their positions a twisted mirror of their earlier encounter. "You know, Alexis. It's okay if you're not fine. It's okay to break down every now and then."

She tried to smile, "I know. But really, I'm-" Her smiled broke and she put her face in her hands, her body shaking with sobs.

"You're not okay," he said quietly. He pulled her against him, stroking her hair. When she calmed down a bit he asked about the phone call.

"Dad and Kate are tracking down a flight, they'll let us know as soon as they've found one. He's also trying to get ahold of Gram." She paused, taking a ragged breath. "He's furious."

"At you?"

"At Max. The guy that did this to me."

Kevin didn't say anything, afraid of spooking the girl. He'd heard bits and pieces from Javie, but he wanted to know Alexis' side of things.

"Max is in the premed program with me, and he's from old money. His dad bought his place at Columbia and pretty much anything else Max wants. We used to date, briefly, when I first started the program, we had so many classes together, but I figured out pretty quickly how entitled he was. After we broke up I found out he was only dating me to get help on tests and assignments. I guess his dad will only give him access to his trust fund after he gets into medical school. It's the one thing Max actually has to earn," Alexis laughed bitterly.

"Anyway, after we broke up I found out he was cheating on our tests. I turned him in, and he was nearly kicked out of school. His dad smoothed things over, but two of the professors gave him failing grades in their classes. Two F's pretty much killed his chances of getting into the top-tier med school he wanted. When he found out that I turned him in he promised he would pay me back... And I guess he did." She clutched her arms around herself, her gaze far away. "I was so scared, Kevin. I really thought he was going to kill me, and I think if Emma hadn't shown up he might have finished the job."

Kevin pried one of her hands away from her side, holding it in his own. "I'm so sorry, Alexis."

She looked up at him, confused. "What have you got to be sorry for?"

"When you asked me to teach you self-defense... I could see the signs. I knew that something was wrong. But I got distracted by Jenny and blew it off. I should have helped you. I should have been there for you."

Alexis shook her head. "You couldn't have known this would happen. It's not your fault at all."

"Either way, if you're still interested in learning, I'll teach you everything I know about self defense."

Alexis hugged him. "Thanks Kevin." Her tear-stained cheek pressed against his chest. His heart was racing. Why would his heart be beating so fast? She drew back, the question on the tip of her tongue. She stopped, seeing the expression on his face.

His pupils were dilated, his gaze focused solely on her. His thumb slipped over her cheekbone, catching a rogue tear. "Got it," he said, his voice little more than a whisper.

"Thanks." She couldn't help it, she glanced at his mouth, desire blooming in her stomach. Ignoring the warning bells in her head, she leaned forward, half-expecting him to move away.

He didn't.

Instead, he slid his hand to the back of her neck, holding her in place, his lips inches away. He leaned forward, gently resting his forehead against hers.

"Alexis." He said her name like a prayer.

The front door slammed, drawing the two out of their reverie.

A female voice called out, "Kevin, are you here?"

Jenny was home.

* * *

Author's Note: Man. Sorry for the wait on this guys. This chapter was so freaking hard to write. I'm not sure why. Hopefully you all like it!

Special thanks to Rori Potter, nmcowgirl08, lovebirds413, TonyCastle78, castlefan51, jazzyjenn5, CBurns1995, JET1967, and all the amaze-sauce anonymous reviewers! Your encouragement has really kept me going with this story over the last few weeks. I couldn't have gotten through this crazy chapter without you.

Extra special thanks to JamieSpencer4, who actually PM'd me about a week ago, requesting an update. You guys have no idea how good this made me feel. I'm working two jobs and doing school full-time, so even though I work on this story every single day in my head, sometimes it takes a little extra encouragement to log the hours in front of the computer. Seriously, it made my day.

Thanks to nmcowgirl08, who was the only reviewer to leave a request. Is there something on your Rylexis wish list you'd like to see in this story? Hit me up, and I'll see about adding it!

Also, be sure to check out the "In My Veins" Spotify playlist and the new Rylexis C2, "For the love of Rylexis."

See you soon for the next installment!

Best,

A.K. Hunter


	7. Chapter Seven

In My Veins

by:

A.K. Hunter

Chapter Seven

"It's not going to stop 'till you wise up. No, it's not going to stop, so just give up." - Aimee Mann, "Wise Up"

* * *

"Kevin, are you here?"

Kevin jumped away from Alexis, almost crossing the room in his haste to get away from her. His eyes jumped wildly around, never making eye contact.

Alexis simply stared at him, her faced flushed from their near-kiss. She bit her lip nervously, an action that finally seemed to draw his attention back to her. For a moment they just watched each other, daring the other to make the first move.

"Kevin?" Jenny's voice called out again.

He sighed raggedly, ran his hands through his hair and walked out of the room. "I'm here."

Alexis took a moment to compose herself. She had nearly kissed Kevin. They were so close she could almost taste him.

And then his wife came home.

Desire and guilt mixed in her stomach, and for a moment she thought she might be sick.

"Alexis?"

She looked up. Jenny stood in the doorway, with Kevin right behind her, reminding Alexis how good they looked together. A dull pain spread across her chest.

Jenny paused as she entered the room. A haunted look spread over her face when she saw the baby supplies stacked haphazardly in the corner. Perhaps Kevin wasn't the only one who couldn't stand the reminder. Somehow this made Alexis feel even worse.

Jenny seemed to compose herself, and her eyes widened when they landed on Alexis.

"Oh my god! You poor thing!" Jenny rushed over, sitting exactly where her husband had been moments earlier. "Kevin told me you were attacked? Can I do anything for you? Where's your family?"

Jenny had always been so nice to her. And how had she repaid that kindness? By trying to kiss her husband. Alexis tried to speak, but her voice was stuck in her throat.

"Castle and Beckett are in Mexico. They're trying to find a flight back," Kevin said. He had stayed in the doorway, watching his wife and the redhead with a grim look on his face. Alexis locked eyes with him, her heart sinking when he frowned and looked away.

She was really going to be sick.

"Are you alright, sweetie? You look pale," Jenny said, pressing the back of her hand against the girl's forehead.

"Excuse me," she mumbled, stumbling to the bathroom, ignoring Jenny's attempts to help her. Kevin let her pass without comment. She locked the door behind her and collapsed on the floor, unable to catch her breath.

What had she done? Kevin was a good man, and she had no business coming between him and his wife. Tears stung at the back of her eyes. How could she be so stupid?

She stayed there for a while, wallowing in self-loathing. Kevin and Jenny were speaking down the hall. She hoped it wasn't about her. She cracked the bathroom door open, listening for just a minute.

"You actually took a day off work?" Jenny asked.

"She's got a concussion. Someone had to watch her."

"I think that's great. I didn't know you were capable of taking time off."

Kevin sighed. "I'm sorry you feel that way. I was just trying to do the right thing."

Jenny echoed her husband's sigh. "No, really. I think it's great that you're here for her. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a bitch. Force of habit, I guess."

"It's alright... It's good to see you."

"You too, Kev."

Oh god. They were going to reconcile not ten minutes after Alexis had almost kissed him. As much as she hated herself for her actions, Alexis knew she couldn't listen to them make up.

"I should go. I only came to get some of my things."

"Can we please talk? For just a few minutes? I miss you, Jenny."

"Alright."

Alexis listened to them walk down the hall and into the bedroom, closing the door behind them.

She needed to leave. Right now. She couldn't stay, wondering what they might be doing in the confines of their bedroom. She was intruding in their home and in their marriage.

Alexis rushed out the bathroom, haphazardly grabbing her belongings. She mentally thanked Lanie for bringing her purse. Quickly and quietly, she snuck out of the apartment, ran down the stairs, and hailed the first cab she saw.

Alexis slumped into the seat of the cab with a sigh. She would just go to her dad's place and wait until they got home. She rested her face in her hands, Kevin's words played on repeat in her head.

_I was just trying to do the right thing._

_I miss you, Jenny._

Alexis held back a sob. It was so messed up. She'd been imagining romance, but really he was just a glorified babysitter, watching his friend's daughter until they got back in town. He didn't care about her as a person, and especially not in a romantic way. The whole thing was beyond humiliating.

And what had she been thinking?

She wasn't that kind of girl. Yes, she liked him, but even if he returned her feelings would she really have wanted their first kiss to be in his late daughter's nursery while he was still married to another woman and she was healing from a brutal attack?

A tiny voice in Alexis' head reminded her of his part in their situation. The way he held her close, the sound of her name on his lips. She tried desperately to ignore it.

Alexis unlocked her dad's apartment, immediately seeking refuge in the couch. She lay there for a long time, trying to erase the afternoon from her mind. Pain began to flare in her head, so she took some painkillers and eventually faded off to sleep.

She was wakened by a pounding at the door. The light outside told her it had been at least a couple hours since her escape. She stumbled over, a feeling of unease in her belly.

When she opened the door Kevin was glaring down at her, his blue eyes almost electric. She stepped back from the intensity of his gaze.

"Hi."

He stalked in the apartment, radiating frustration. "Why didn't you answer my calls?"

"I didn't hear them." She dug her phone out of her purse, seeing the missed calls, text messages, and voicemails. He'd been busy while she was away. "I'm sorry."

Kevin frowned, watching her. "Alexis, why did you leave?"

Alexis looked down at the floor. "I figured I'd overstayed my welcome."

"What? Why would you think that?"

"You seemed like you could use some privacy." Alexis didn't dare look him in the face. She needed to get him out of the apartment. "Anyway, Dad and Kate will be home soon, I'm sure, so I can just camp out here until they get home." She sat back down on the couch, pretending to be interested in a magazine. She flipped a couple pages, stopping on an ad for a new restaurant in Midtown. "Oh, I bet Jenny would like this place. You should take her there tonight."

"Alexis-"

"Of course, it might be hard to get reservations at such late notice." She kept flipping, hoping he'd get the hint.

A moment later he sat next to her, taking the magazine from her hands and tossing it on the coffee table. "Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?"

His eyes narrowed at her. "Well, let's look at the evidence. You left my apartment without my knowledge, you didn't say where you were going, you didn't respond to any of my attempts to contact you, and when I finally track you down to make sure you're safe you won't even look at me. So I'll ask again. Are you mad at me, Alexis?"

She finally looked up at him. Though his voice was angry, he just looked concerned and more than a little hurt. She felt herself drowning his gaze, and quickly looked down at her hands. "You don't need to do me any favors, detective. I don't need your pity. I can look after myself."

"Who the hell said anything about pity?" He was really getting angry, but so was Alexis. His earlier words, his attempt to do the right thing suddenly felt insulting. She thought they were really becoming friends, but maybe she wasn't giving sense of duty enough credit.

"I'm the sad, wounded daughter of your best friend. You feel like it's your duty to take care of me," she said as she returned to the front door. She opened it for him. "I understand, but I don't need it. Go home to your wife. I'll be fine."

He stood up, but didn't follow her. He wasn't about to let her kick him out. "You think that's how I see you?"

"I know that's how you see me."

"And how do you know that?"

"That's what you said to Jenny earlier. You were just trying to do the right thing. Well thanks, Kevin, but I'm nobody's charity case."

Kevin shook his head in disbelief. "You know, I'm really starting to get sick of this tough act you put on."

"Fine. If you leave, you won't have to deal with it," she said nonchalantly.

Kevin took a deep breath and rubbed his face tiredly. He approached her slowly, and without breaking eye contact he leaned over her, pushing the door closed behind her. She stepped away from him, not liking the way he invaded her space. Her back hit the door, but he was still only inches away.

"You're wrong, you know," he said quietly.

"About what?"

"Everything."

She rolled her eyes, ready to send him away, but he held a hand up to stop her.

"I think you're brilliant. You notice things most people overlook, and you understand things about the world that people twice your age still haven't figured out. You're one of the kindest people I've ever met. You're beautiful, you're so smart it's crazy, and you can actually be pretty charming when you want to be." He paused. "I also think you've spent too much of your life with only yourself to rely on. For whatever reason you don't trust people to help you. You're pathologically self-sufficient."

She kind of wished he would go back to telling her how beautiful she was. "I ask for help," she said crossly.

He nodded, "You do. You ask for help when you have no other options left, and even then you take all the responsibility back on your own shoulders as soon as you can. But you don't have to, Alexis. There are people around to help you. Not because they pity you or feel obligated to, but because they care about you and want you to be happy. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. But I don't take back my words. I am trying to do the right thing, and the right thing for me is to help the people I care about."

For some reason she felt like crying.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, maintaining their distance, but forcing her to look him in the face. "So will you please stop being such a pain in the ass and come back home with me?"

Alexis fought back a laugh at his request. "Oh, now I'm a pain in the ass? What happened to me being brilliant and beautiful?"

Kevin shrugged, grinning. "I don't see them as mutually exclusive. You're a beautiful, brilliant, pain in my ass."

"Well, right back at you."

Suddenly his arms were around her. She rested her head against his chest, "Thank you, Kevin."

He pulled back, staring down into her face. "Please don't run off again. I was really worried about you."

"Okay."

Kevin's phone rang. He answered it, then covered the receiver, whispering to Alexis, "It's your dad." She reached for the phone, but he shook his head. He returned to the couch, filling Castle in on their day, omitting the part about Jenny's sudden arrival and Alexis' subsequent escape.

"She's doing really well, Castle. But I think she'll be even better when you're home," Kevin said.

Alexis tried to grab the phone from him, hating that they were talking about her when she was present, and he leaned away from her reach. She leaned over him, trying to pry the phone out of his grasp, but he swatted her hands away, continuing the conversation as if he wasn't being harassed by the redhead.

Finally, Alexis brought out the big guns, and started tickling him. His composure lasted about four seconds.

"Alexis wants to talk to you," he said breathlessly, fighting back the urge to laugh.

She grinned triumphantly while Kevin pouted about his defeat."Hi Dad. I'm okay. Kevin's been taking good care of me."

They had found a flight, and would be back in New York first thing tomorrow morning. Alexis had mixed feelings about that. After promising to stay safe and that she would see him soon, she ended the call and glanced over at her couch mate, who was watching her with a bemused smile on his face.

"What?"

"Tickling, Alexis Castle? I had no idea you'd stoop so low."

"Well, Detective Ryan, there's a lot you don't know about me."

His laugh echoed through the apartment, and Alexis' heart filled with happiness.

* * *

"And then the murderer turned out to be the puppy thief."

"No way!"

They were back at his apartment. Kevin was telling Alexis about the strangest cases he'd ever solved while they ate Chinese food from takeout containers. The latest story involved a murderer who stole police-trained dogs and trained them to be house pets. Ironically, it was thanks to a crime dog that Kevin and Javier were able to solve the case.

"I swear to God, the guy almost called me and Javie 'meddling kids' and said he would have gotten away with the murder if it hadn't been for us and the dog."

Alexis covered her face, her whole body shaking with laughter. Kevin had discovered that he really liked to see her laugh. She rested her hands on the table, her smile infectious. "That's hilarious, Kevin. I don't think I've got any morgue stories that are half as entertaining."

"Give it time. Lanie has some crazy stories too."

She took a bite of rice, chewing thoughtfully. "Oh, I've got one! It involves two bodies with missing kidneys and-"

Kevin held his hand up dramatically. "Please, Alexis. We're eating. I can't think about missing body parts while I eat this delicious mystery meat." He took another bite to emphasize his point.

She snorted, rolling her eyes. "Oh come on. You're a detective. You're not supposed to be squeamish."

"I'm not squeamish, but I'm not a fan of taking about gooey body parts over dinner."

"I never said they were gooey," she teased. "Do you pass out at the sight of your own blood too? I know a lot of guys who've done that."

Kevin pretended to be offended. "I'll have you know that I can handle myself around blood much better than the average frat boy." He tried not to think about how she knew so many guys. He tried to change the subject. "So is that why you chose this field? Because blood and guts don't bother you?"

"Well, growing up with my dad pretty much immunized me against being grossed out by anything. I actually thought about doing detective work, but then I realized how well that would go over with my dad and everyone at the 12th. And I've always loved forensic science, so I thought that would be a good fit. I'm really enjoying it so far."

Kevin tried to imagine her as a cop, chasing down criminals and putting her life in danger around every turn. A wave of protectiveness washed over him, imagining her in some of the tough situations he and the rest of the 12th had been in. Yes, the morgue was a much safer place.

"What about you?"

"Huh?" he glanced up at her. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't listened to her.

"What made you choose detective work?"

He paused, trying to find the right words. The answer to her question was complicated, and he didn't want to delve too deeply into it. "Well, there were a lot of bullies in my neighbor when I was growing up, and I never had the means to do anything about it. I've never been one of the big, beefy guys and as a kid I was downright scrawny. But I wanted to help people out, protect them from the bullies in their lives. So I joined the academy after college, and discovered I loved being a cop. Except, I still wasn't able to help as much as I wanted, so I pursued the detective route." He shrugged, "And here I am."

Alexis smiled softly at him. "You wanted to be a hero."

He returned her smile. "Something like that."

"Hey Kevin?" she said suddenly.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for bringing me back. I've had a really good time tonight."

"Anytime. It's been nice to have someone around."

She gave him a sad smile, "I'm sorry Jenny didn't want to stay."

He shrugged, though the memory of his wife's latest rejection still stung. Alexis had been mistaken in believing that Kevin and Jenny would reconcile after their encounter that afternoon. Kevin had hoped that speaking to his wife privately in their own home would help her see that she needed to give him another chance, but their conversation had quickly devolved into an argument. After an hour of fighting and begging him to sign the new set of divorce papers she'd brought, Jenny had left the apartment, the new papers taunting him from the kitchen table. Kevin had wasted no time throwing them away. And after giving himself a few minutes to sulk, he'd gone to check on Alexis.

He was thrown into a panic when he realized she had left.

"So, wanna watch a movie or something?" she asked, drawing him out of his reverie.

"Sure."

They chose a movie then settled onto his couch, taking up opposite ends. He wasn't terrible interested in the movie, so he took the opportunity to watch Alexis out of the corner of his eye.

He couldn't believe he'd almost kissed her. He had no idea what possessed him to make such a stupid move. He was married, and she was so young. She should be with frat boys, not an older, married man with baggage.

He had seen the look in her eyes. He knew without a doubt that if he had gone through with it and kissed her, she would have let him. Whether it was attraction or a momentary lapse of judgment from her pain medication, Alexis wouldn't have stopped him.

Part of him was ecstatic about that. That same part of him wanted to cross the invisible barrier they had erected on the couch and kiss her until they both forgot about every reason it wasn't a good idea. Heat rose in his face, and he crossed his legs. No, he couldn't think about that.

He needed to focus on the heart-wrenching guilt he'd felt that afternoon when his wife had come home just in time to stop him from kissing another woman. Admittedly, Jenny might not have actually minded, since she seemed determined to end their relationship for good, but that didn't make it right. He was still in love with his wife, he still wanted to make it work, and making a stupid mistake with Castle's twenty-one-year old daughter wouldn't help him achieve those goals.

He had meant what he said. He thought Alexis was an amazing, brilliant, beautiful woman. He was continually impressed with her strength and intelligence. And one day, she would make some lucky guy very happy.

And that guy would not be Kevin.

He tried to ignore the twisting in his stomach at the thought. It was a good thing. It was how things were supposed to happen.

As the credits flashed on the screen Kevin noticed Alexis had fallen asleep at some point during the movie. It was probably for the best. She needed rest to heal, and with the way his mind was going it was better for them to not talk any more that night. He turned off the tv and dvd player, got a blanket out of the closet and gently draped it over the sleeping girl.

Castle and Beckett would be there first thing in the morning, they probably wouldn't have any more chances to spend time together one on one. The thought relieved him and disappointed him at the same time. He leaned over, brushed her hair back away from her face and brushed a kiss over her temple.

"Good night, Alexis," he whispered.

Kevin retreated to his bedroom, mentally kicking himself for his adulterous thoughts. One thought kept playing in his mind: Was it adultery if he was getting divorced? He quickly squashed it. He didn't want to get a divorce. He wanted to be with Jenny, and he was determined to get her to admit she still loved him.

Because he still loved Jenny.

Didn't he?

* * *

Alexis couldn't get back to sleep. She'd woken up around four in the morning, her head and heart reeling from panic. It had been almost an hour, and sleep was still eluding her.

Unable to stay on the couch any longer, she got up, deciding to clean up Kevin's kitchen as a thank you. Their takeout containers were still scattered all over the table. She smiled, thinking of how much fun she'd had with him that evening. She was thankful that he hadn't mentioned their almost kiss. It seemed they could just move on and be friends. She stacked the containers, replaying their conversations in her head with a giddy smile.

God, she loved him.

The thought brought her up short. Was she truly in love with Kevin? It definitely had a ring of truth to it. She pondered on the question as she continued cleaning.

She stopped when she noticed a bunch of papers in his garbage can. She placed the containers on the counter and pulled the papers out. After a quick glance, her heart sank. They were divorce papers. Jenny must have brought them over.

And he'd thrown them away.

Alexis sat down at the table, suddenly breathless with heartache. Of course he didn't sign the papers. He was still in love with his wife.

And Alexis was a stupid, foolish girl.

Tears slipped down her face. Despite her good sense, despite all of her deeply-ingrained morals, she had fallen in love with a married man.

Kevin was an amazing man. He was smart, handsome, kind, and knew how to deal with whatever obstacles she threw at him.

And he belonged to someone else.

She allowed herself a couple minutes to cry it out, to get the heartbreak out. Because this needed to stop. She couldn't go on this way, having feelings for someone who didn't feel the same way. It wasn't healthy.

She glanced at the clock, her dad and Kate would be back in town in an hour or two. Kevin would be up soon. She needed to stop feeling sorry for herself.

As much as she'd taken comfort in her 24-hour vacation from reality with Kevin, real life was about to start back up. It was time to go back to her grueling schedule, back to a world where she and Kevin only interacted in the immediate vicinity of a dead body.

It was better that way.

She tossed the containers in the garbage, staining the divorce papers with sweet and sour sauce. Kevin wouldn't mind. She made coffee, enough for two of them, because that was what good houseguests did.

Before heading to the bathroom to get ready, she added one more entry to Kevin's crossword puzzle.

Ten letters. Another word for love not returned, or in her case, the consequence of stupidly falling in love with a married man.

Unrequited.

* * *

Author's Note: Guys, I am feeling the love. Thanks so much to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. Man, you guys did not like Jenny coming between our favorite couple! ;) I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's my personal favorite so far.

Many thanks to Rori Potter, popie92, JJS4, TonyCastle78, dixie326, jazzyjenn5, lovebirds413, Hamlet 77, tmpestana, Amy Jones, Dodge1989, zombie-hunt, Liz R, stars9867, and pinkypie for reviewing! You guys are the best! You seriously make this story great with all your support and feedback. I also love that we got a few new names reviewing for the last chapter, the good word of Rylexis must be spreading!

Stay tuned for the next chapter, you're going to love it.

(Spoiler: A certain curly-haired organized crime detective is coming back on to the scene! Who will be working with him, and how will they put up with his personal brand of crazy?)

As always, thanks for stopping by and please review. :)

(9/22/2014: Edited for acknowledgements.)


	8. Chapter Eight

In My Veins

By:

A.K. Hunter

Chapter Eight

"What do I stand for? Most nights I don't know anymore." - FUN., "Some Nights"

* * *

For the fifth time that morning, Alexis felt the air whoosh out of her lungs as she hit the floor.

"Bring your center of gravity down. It'll be harder for you to get knocked over," Kevin said, hovering over her prone form. He helped her up.

It had been almost two months since she was attacked, and Kevin had been true to his word. As soon as her injuries had healed, he'd started meeting with her every morning to teach her self-defense. After about five minutes into their first lesson Kevin had declared she "didn't have an ounce of muscle mass," so she'd spent her first few weeks of lessons running on the treadmill and lifting weights. As it turned out, the too-busy schedule of a premed student wasn't conducive to physical fitness. Go figure.

Alexis wiped a bead of sweat from her temple, then returned to the center of the mat. She positioned her body the way Kevin had taught her when he'd started teaching her self defense about three weeks earlier.

So far, Alexis was learning the basics: how to hold your body, how to use your opponent's body against them. She had never realized how much physical fitness was required to be a detective. And despite how much time Kevin spent at a desk drinking coffee and eating crappy takeout, he was in pretty damn good shape.

"Okay, Alexis, just like we've been practicing. I'm going to attack you. Your job is to not let me pin you."

Alexis, on the other hand, was getting her ass handed to her. She braced herself, "I'm ready."

Kevin moved toward her, his gloved hand curling into a fist. She leaned out of the way to avoid it, and the blow glanced harmless off the side of her arm.

"Good. Move your feet," Kevin said.

She hastily tried to obey his command as his opposite hand came toward her, but she was too slow. He knocked her off balance then grabbed her by the arm and whipped her body around so her back was flush up against his chest, with one of her arms pinned between them. He pinned her other arm to her chest.

His breath was warm in her ear. "What do you do when an opponent has you pinned from behind?"

He'd taught her this already. They'd gone over it a million times. Alexis wasn't athletic; she didn't have that knack for manipulating her own body, but most of all she had a hard time focusing when the man she was in love with was pressed up against her. Frustrating, skin tingling, she tried to wiggle out of his grip.

She heard a choking noise behind her, and Kevin completely let go. She escaped to the other end of the mat.

"That's not what I taught you," he gasped.

She shrugged. "It worked, didn't it?"

"It won't work on a real opponent."

She sighed, returning to the center of the mat. "Why not?"

Kevin looked away. His skin was flushed, and he seemed out of breath. Suddenly, Alexis understood why it had been so easy to break away. Blood rushed to her face, and desire twisted in her stomach.

"Oh."

Kevin sighed, shaking his head. "Turn around. You need to be able to do this the right way."

Alexis bit her lip,"You know, it's a perfectly natural reaction-"

_"Turn around."_

She quickly complied, and in seconds his arms were around her once more, though he wasn't holding her as close as before. His attempt to distance himself didn't help Alexis' state of mind. She could still feel the heat of his torso radiating into her back.

"Break my hold," he breathed into the back of her neck.

Goosebumps spread along her skin, and suddenly Alexis couldn't remember anything he'd taught her. She ran through scenarios in her brain, but all she could focus on was the heat of his skin, the rise and fall of his chest, and just how damn much she wanted him.

"Alexis," he urged.

The sounds of her name on his lips was intoxicating. In her mind, she imagined an entirely different way their session would continue. Much like sparring, it would involve intense exercise. She wondered how many different ways she could get him to say her name.

"What are you waiting for?"

Alexis snapped out of her daydream. Panicked, she stomped on his foot, then elbowed him in the abdomen. His hold loosened, and she tried to step away, but like a fly caught in a spiderweb she was spun around and pulled back in. Her arms were pinned behind her back, and she was pressed up against Kevin, chest to chest. She wasn't sure which was more dizzying, the move he had just used or the fact that she was so close to him while her mind was fixated on taking out all of her sexual frustration.

"That's not fair," she said breathlessly. "I did the move correctly. You're supposed to let me go."

Kevin just stared down at her for a moment, then licked his lips. The action just about drove Alexis to madness. She was thankful that her arms were pinned, because if she had been able to move she might have attacked him in a non-combative way.

His head dipped down, and Alexis froze. What was he doing? Was he going to kiss her? If he kissed her she would absolutely lose it. Their noses were practically touching. She tried to wiggle out of his hold, and immediately noticed the way his eyes darkened and his grip tightened.

"Alexis," he warned.

For a moment, all the air was sucked out of the room. Neither of them moved or breathed, her blood felt like it was on fire. What was he doing? Was he just teasing her? Did he want her to make the first move?

Alexis was spared the need for answers as her back hit the ground hard.

"Ouch."

Kevin frowned down at her, unimpressed by her lack of progress that day. "Where did you go wrong?"

She sat up, wincing, "I don't know. By thinking I could learn this stuff in the first place?"

He ignored her comment. "In a real fight your opponent won't let you run away just because you execute an attack correctly. You need to be ready for anything. Where's your focus today, Alexis? I gave you the perfect opportunity to try the headbutt I taught you, but you just stood there."

Oh god. He'd been giving her a chance to attack him. He wasn't going to kiss her. _Of course_ he wasn't going to kiss her.

Suddenly she felt sick. She lay back down on the mat. Why did she keep doing this to herself? It had been two months. Why couldn't she just get over him? Tears burned at the back of her eyes.

"I'm trying," she said hoarsely.

Kevin's face softened at her wounded tone.

Her phone rang, and she practically ran to answer it, trying to put space between herself and Kevin. It was Lanie, she'd just been notified about a crime scene. They needed to get up there.

"I've got to go, we've got a scene." Alexis said, removing her gloves.

"Homicide?"

Alexis shrugged. "Probably. Lanie didn't say."

"Hey, before you go-" Kevin began.

"Sorry, I've got to run." She grabbed her bag, and walked out of the gym before he could finish his sentence.

Alexis rushed to the locker room, stripped down and turn the shower on ice cold. Her body ached, and not from the exercise.

Alexis sighed. Each lesson was getting more and more difficult to complete. Yes, she was terrible at hand-to-hand combat, but it was more than that. She was trying very hard to smother her feelings for Kevin, but seeing him every morning and working with him every day was making it impossible.

She thought things would go back to the way they were before her attack, but everything had changed. She'd moved back in with her dad and Beckett since her roommate was too scared to continue living in their apartment. And to be honest, Alexis wasn't crazy about living in a crime scene either. Alexis had also graduated college, and, finding far too much free time in her schedule, had started working full-time at the morgue. She would start medical school at the end of the summer.

Between work and her lessons, Alexis spent most of her days with Kevin. She loved it.

Alexis loved to start her day with him. She loved solving murders with him. And he seemed to enjoy her company as well. He joked with her at work, he was patient and kind during most of their lessons, and he often checked in with her throughout the day. Just to see how she was doing or share a thought with her. Their fragile acquaintance was quickly evolving into a close friendship.

But that was the problem, wasn't it?

Dressed and ready, Alexis grabbed a cab to the scene, and pushed Kevin-related worries over into some obscure part of her brain. She needed to focus on work. She paid the cabbie and slipped under the police tape, flashing her ID at anyone who tried to stop her.

Lanie was kneeling next to a dead body: a middle-aged woman with an apparent gunshot wound to the chest.

"Good morning," Lanie chirped.

"Hey," Alexis said without enthusiasm.

"How were your lessons?"

"Let's just focus on the body." Alexis said, already pulling on a pair of latex gloves. "Looks like a big caliber gun."

"My guess is a .45. Beckett and the gang will be on their way soon."

"Great," Alexis huffed.

Lanie gave her a sympathetic look. The M.E. had watched Alexis' interactions with Kevin. It was obvious that the girl had feelings for him. Thankfully, Castle, Beckett, and Kevin himself were oblivious. Lanie's phone beeped, and a text message flashed across the screen. "Looks like they need an M.E. on another scene. Some gang-banger was killed. Are you comfortable running this one by yourself?"

They were short-staffed, and this was Alexis' shot to prove her worth. Except, she didn't really want to stay at the homicide scene.

"I'll take the gang-banger," Alexis said.

"What? You know that's not working with homicide, right? You'd be working with the organized crime unit."

"I know."

"Alexis-"

"Please, Lanie? This could be a great learning opportunity. I'll make sure you sign off on everything." Alexis begged her friend.

Lanie dialed her phone, "I'll let them know you're on the way over."

Alexis hugged the other M.E. "Text me the address." She quickly packed up her things and left for the other crime scene, relishing the chance to escape from homicide for a few days.

It would do her a world of good to spend a little less time with Detective Ryan.

* * *

"I think Alexis is avoiding me," Kevin said to his partner.

They'd spent a couple of hours at the scene going over evidence and canvassing, and now they were on the way back to the precinct to start digging into their vic's life.

At first Javier didn't respond to his partner's comment. He'd seen Kevin and Alexis' self-defense lessons. You could cut the sexual tension in the room with a knife. Javier had also noticed the way his partner had been interacting with the redhead at work.

Kevin always made sure that Alexis was in his line of sight at a crime scene, and seemed a little agitated whenever he couldn't see her. He texted her throughout the day, much like when he'd first started dating Jenny. There was definitely something going on there.

Javier didn't intend to get in his partner's business. Kevin was a big boy, he could make his own decisions. He'd also seemed happier since he'd started spending time with Alexis, and Javier was glad to see a smile on his partner's face again.

That being said, they all had a soft spot for Alexis, and Javier was wary of where her new connection with Kevin might lead. If Kevin ever hurt Alexis, intentionally or not, it could make things very difficult for the team.

"I can't believe she's working with Slaughter," Kevin continued with a growl.

"It's good for her to learn to work with other teams," Javier said diplomatically.

"Why?"

"Because, bro, there's no guarantee that she's going to work with us forever. She needs to learn how to work with people who aren't also her friends."

"Still, though. Slaughter? The guy's going to get her in trouble. He almost got Castle killed on more than one occasion."

"Alexis isn't going to do footwork with him. She'll be at crime scenes and the morgue, doing all the same stuff she does when she works with us." Javier paused, then decided to go with his gut. "You jealous, bro?"

"Jealous?" Kevin scoffed, "Why would I be jealous?"

"You tell me."

Kevin eyed his partner for a moment, then returned his gaze to the passing streets. "Alexis and I are just friends. I feel responsible for her, like a brother. I don't want anything to happen to her."

"Sure, bro."

Kevin opened his mouth to argue, but was interrupted by his phone. He sighed, then declined the call. "Jenny's trying to set up a mediation for divorce."

"Are you going to go?"

"Not if I can help it. I don't want to be divorced, Javie. I still can't believe this is all happening."

The older detective nodded sympathetically. Javier believed Kevin needed to move on and sign the papers, but he could also see why his partner was holding on so tightly to his old life.

People grieve in different ways, and Kevin's method of choice seemed to be denial. Javier hoped that someday soon Kevin would be able to see his situation clearly. As tragic as Kevin's situation was, it would be an even greater tragedy if he was so fixated on the past that he missed out on his second chance to be happy.

* * *

"Are you sleeping okay? You look tired. I thought you said you were sleeping better."

Alexis sat with her dad in the hospital cafeteria. Castle had been understandably shaken when he'd found out his daughter had volunteered to work with another division, so he decided to stop by the morgue and treat her to coffee. Not only was it the first day she hadn't worked homicide, it was also the first day since her attack that Castle wasn't able to keep an eye on her at work.

Alexis took a long sip from her mug. "I am sleeping better, dad. I'm just tired today."

For several weeks after the attack, Alexis had trouble sleeping. She either couldn't fall asleep, or she'd wake up in the middle of the night screaming from nightmares. Things had settled down, but Castle still hovered over her, waiting to be of help.

He was haunted by the memory of that night. He and Kate were enjoying their vacation so much that they hadn't thought to check their phones. Hearing Kevin's message was one of the most frightening moments of Castle's life, and the vacation had quickly turned into a prison.

There was nothing worse than knowing your child is far away, hurting, and you can't do anything about it. While they were stuck waiting for a flight, Castle made a promise to himself that he would do everything in his power to make sure nothing like that ever happened again.

Alexis was an adult, and he'd learned his lesson about being overbearing since her disastrous relationship with Pi, but he was still her father and he still cared. He was haunted by the fact that he couldn't be there for her in her time of need.

"How's your case?"

Castle sighed, "Boring. Beckett thinks her husband did it. Evidence is pointing that way."

"Do you believe he did it?"

"I have no reason not to, thought it's not a very exciting story," he said. "What about your case?

Alexis smiled, "It's interesting. We've got a Chinese street boss dead from apparent heroine overdose, but his drug test came back negative."

Castle looked impressed. "Your case wins!"

"Definitely. It's kind of fun seeing things from a different perspective."

Castle watched her carefully. "Is that why you jumped on this case? Are you getting bored with homicide?"

Alexis avoided eye contact, suddenly immersed in her coffee. "I just thought it would be good to try something new. Why is everyone acting like it's such a big deal?"

"I'm just worried."

"Why? Max is gone, I'm sleeping fine, and I'm learning self defense. I'm better than ever. There's nothing to worry about."

After being arrested for assault, Max was expelled from Columbia. His father posted his bail, and took him out of the city. Nobody knew what happened to the young man, or where he'd ended up, but there was comfort in knowing that Max wouldn't hurt Alexis again. Castle was just sad that he hadn't been able to have a one-on-one chat with the man who had hurt his daughter.

Castle cringed, knowing how much his over-protectiveness bothered Alexis. "And if any other detective was leading your case I wouldn't worry, but Slaughter is kind of dangerous, honey."

Alexis laughed, "He's not that bad. I mean, yeah, he's an ass. But I can handle him."

"Do you promise you will come to me if you ever feel threatened?"

"Yes, dad. I promise."

It wasn't enough. Not when she was working active crime scenes and helping catch dangerous criminals. When Alexis told him her decision to work as an M.E., he had a hard time with it. And when she'd started working with the homicide division his only comfort was that she would be protected. Between the detectives at the 12th, Lanie, and Castle himself, Alexis would be safe.

Of course, all of that protection hadn't done a damn thing when she'd really needed it. And even though Castle wouldn't be there to watch over her when she worked a case with another division, her promise had to be enough. Because she wasn't a little girl anymore and he had to let her live her life.

"So, what's the crazy theory for your case?" Alexis asked, drawing him away from his thoughts.

He smiled, "WelI, my first thought was an illicit affair with a secret lover..."

* * *

Kevin stepped into the hospital elevator. He was headed to the morgue. They were just about done with the case, all of the evidence was still pointing to the husband, but there were still a few loose ends to tie up, so they'd called it for the day and Kevin had immediately come to check on Alexis.

Their awkward encounter that morning had stuck with him throughout the day. Between her distraction and his... _reaction_, Kevin was worried that he'd hurt or embarrassed her somehow. It didn't help that she'd jumped onto another case at the last second and she hadn't been returning his text messages since.

He'd certainly embarrassed himself. That morning wasn't the first time Kevin's body had responded to Alexis' proximity, and it seemed to be more difficult to rein in his traitorous body with each lesson. He wasn't sure he'd be able to keep teaching her, especially since she didn't seem to be progressing. Maybe Javier would be a better fit.

It wasn't that he didn't want to teach her. He loved working with her every morning, it was the best part of his day. Their lessons gave him motivation to get out of bed. But it would be selfish to keep working with her and then spend the entire hour distracted by the look on her face when he pinned her, or thinking about how well her body fit against his. A uncomfortable thought struck him. Was he taking advantage of the situation? Was that why she wasn't progressing?

As the elevator doors closed a hand shot out, stopping them. Detective Ethan Slaughter entered, nodding to Kevin. "Ryan."

"Slaughter."

Kevin pressed the button for the morgue.

"You got a vic?" Slaughter asked.

Kevin hesitated. Technically, he did have a victim in the morgue. But that wasn't why he was there. Of course, he'd never tell Slaughter that he was there to visit someone.

"Yeah. You?"

"Got a call from the new M.E., she has some evidence." Slaughter winked, "She's quite the looker."

"Oh yeah?" Kevin tried to sound casual.

"I've always had a thing for redheads. She's young, too. Her name's Andy or Amy or something like that."

Kevin's hands curled into fists, and cleared his throat. The elevator ride could not end fast enough. "Alexis."

"That's it. I'd love for her to examine my body sometime."

Thankfully the elevator reached the morgue, so Kevin was excused from answering. He wordlessly followed Slaughter, who spent the walk loudly planning all the favors he would get Alexis to do for him. He paused outside the morgue, turning to Kevin. "Watch me put on the charm."

The organized crime detective sauntered into the morgue, barely acknowledging Lanie's existence. Alexis wasn't there.

"Where's Red?"

Lanie rolled her eyes at the detective. "_Alexis _is in the lab."

"Ethan?" Alexis' voice called from an open doorway.

This somehow made Slaughter look even more smug. "Ethan," he mouthed to Kevin, before following Alexis' voice into the lab.

"What's your problem?" Lanie asked Kevin, who was glaring after Slaughter. "You look like you just ate a lemon."

"That guy is a piece of work," Kevin said quietly. "You wouldn't believe the things he said about Alexis in the elevator."

"Oh, I'm sure I'd believe it."

They stood in silence for a moment as Kevin tried to listen in to Slaughter and Alexis' conversation.

"I don't have any new information for you," Lanie said, making an incision across a cadaver's chest.

"I know."

"Then why are you in my morgue?"

Kevin was spared the need to answer as Slaughter walked back into the exam area, already barking orders into his cell phone. He nodded to Kevin and Lanie on his way out.

Kevin took a moment to compose himself, then traced Slaughter's steps into the lab. Alexis was leaning against the counter top, furiously scribbling into her notepad. He took a moment to watch her at work. Alexis struggled in their lessons, but at a crime scene or in the morgue she was a force of nature. There was a determination and focus in her every movement, and Kevin often wished he knew what she was thinking.

It didn't hurt that the girl could really pull off a pair of scrubs, either.

"Hey," he said quietly.

Alexis paused, and looked up from her notepad. Was he imaging it, or was she blushing?

"Hold on one second." She made a few more notes, then set down her pen and closed the notebook, turning her gaze on the detective. "Hi, Kevin. How's your case? I think Lanie's still here if you need any more information."

He was taken aback by her cool, professional tone. "Oh. We're pretty much finished with the case."

Her eyebrows rose just a little bit. "That's fast. So was it her husband?"

"More than likely. There's a couple loose ends to tie up, but the evidence speaks." He realized she was getting him off track. He'd gotten to know Alexis pretty well over the past couple of months, and he had learned that she had a tendency to distract people in order to avoid confrontation. Kevin had a pretty good idea what she was trying to distract him from talking about. "That's not why I'm here."

A small frown flashed across her face. "What can I do for you?"

"You haven't been answering my messages."

She shrugged. "It's been a busy day." She moved around the lab, turning the machines off and pulling covers over the microscopes.

He left his post at the doorway, coming a little closer to her. "How are you liking working for another division?"

"It's great. I like it a lot."

He didn't like that answer. "You think you'll do more cases with Slaughter in the future?"

"Probably. If he lets me." She pulled her purse out of a cabinet and picked up a stack of notes from off the counter.

"Are you done for the day?" Kevin was growing more and more concerned with the flippant way she approached their conversation. Yes, she was definitely avoiding something.

"Yep."

"Want to get some dinner? My treat."

"No, thanks. I have plans with friends tonight."

"Are you okay?"

She bit her lip, then sighed. "I'm great, Kevin." She tried to move past him, but he stepped into her path.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." Her smile was anything but reassuring. "Why do you ask?"

He paused, reading the blush across her cheekbones and her too-wide eyes. She knew exactly what he was asking about, but she was determined to brush it under the rug. Did he really want to push her into having that conversation?

Maybe it was better to act like it never happened.

Kevin sighed, "No reason. Have a great night." He brushed an affectionate kiss over her cheek and walked out of the morgue, oblivious to the effect the simple gesture had on her.

* * *

Alexis was not having fun.

She had lied when she told Kevin about her plans. She wasn't going out with friends, but her dad had planned a poker night with the detectives from the 12th, so she couldn't very well stay home. She called up some friends she hadn't spoken to in months, and invited them out for a night. Somehow they'd ended up at a club, and in no time at all her friends had gotten drunk and started dancing with guys, leaving Alexis alone at the bar, sipping a drink and trying not to think about Kevin.

Alexis was angry. Kevin had been texting her all day, presumably from the moment he realized she wasn't on his case anymore. Her dad was well-meaning, but she was tired of the way people acted like she was going to fall apart any second. It had been almost two months since the attack. She was over it. And the self-defense lessons weren't actually helping, because for the rest of the day she suffered from an itch that only Kevin could scratch.

And when she'd tried to get a night away to reconnect with friends, even though there was a reason she hadn't talked to them in months, she'd ended up alone, being the responsible one, as always. She checked her phone. God, it was only 11 p.m. She had a couple hours before they'd be finished with the poker game.

The bartender placed a martini in front of her.

Alexis shook her head, "I didn't order this."

The bartender gestured further down the bar. "He did."

Alexis searched down the line of people, her gaze landing on a young man who looked to be about her age. His blond hair was styled into an artful mess. He smiled at her, his pearly-white teeth gleaming.

Alexis found herself smiling back. Perhaps the night didn't need to be a bust, after all.

Three hours later, Alexis couldn't remember why she'd been so angry. She and the handsome guy, whose name she promptly forgot and never asked again, had spent the evening drinking and dancing. With his blonde hair and warm brown eyes, he looked nothing like Kevin. He was perfect.

She sat back against the booth, out of breath from their last round of dancing. "You are an amazing dancer."

He laughed, "Or you're too drunk too tell the difference."

For some reason she found this hilarious. "Probably."

He brushed a strand of hair from her face. "I bet you, on the other hand, are just as sexy without alcohol."

Even drunk, Alexis recognized a lousy pickup line. But she didn't care. It was nice to know at least one guy in the world found her attractive. She smiled at him, then sat in his lap. "How sexy?"

His hands rested on her hips. "Very." He pressed his mouth against hers.

Well, he wasn't a Casanova, but he was a good kisser. She pressed against him, deepening the kiss. His fingertips ghosted over the top of her thighs. God, it felt good to be touched. It had been far too long. "You want to get out of here?" she asked him between kisses.

He immediately stopped. "What?"

"Do you want to leave? Maybe go back to your place?" She asked, already missing his touch.

He gently shoved her off of his lap. "Um.. I'm having a lot of fun and all, but I'm not that kind of guy."

Alexis looked at him in shock. Of course she would go to a club and pick up the one guy who refused to take her home. Embarrassment and shame rushed through her. In an instant, that constant frustration was back in full force. "Then what good _are_ you?" she hissed.

She escaped before he could argue, seeking refuge in the bathroom. It was surprisingly empty. Only one stall was being used. She checked her appearance in the mirror: her hair was mussed and tangled from hours of dancing, and her lips were swollen from... whatever his name was. She splashed some water on her face. Her hands were shaking.

She was a mess. No wonder nobody wanted her. Tears pricked in her eyes, and she wiped them away, smudging her makeup. Some small, still logical part of her brain knew the self-pity was alcohol-induced, and that Alexis had been lucky that guy didn't want to take her home, but that didn't change her feelings.

She checked her phone. 1:34 a.m. Her dad didn't give her a curfew any more, but he would worry if she didn't get home soon. The poker game would be long over by now. She fleetingly wondered how differently her evening would have gone if she'd allowed Kevin to treat her to dinner. Maybe she shouldn't have blown him off. Her plan to forget about him for a night obviously hadn't worked out.

Maybe it was time to bite the bullet and just confess her feelings. At least then it would be out in the open and he could reject her and she could move on. She pulled a piece of paper towel out of the dispenser and carefully wiped at her eyes. It was time to go home.

As she turned to leave, she slipped in something sticky and hit the floor. Stupid, disgusting club bathrooms. Alexis' alcohol-inhibited mind stopped processing as she realized what was now coating her legs, dress and hands.

Blood.

It had spread in a red wave from the closed bathroom stall. She carefully got to her knees, wiping her hands on her dress. "Hello? Are you alright in there?" It was a stupid question. She didn't need to be sober to know that a person wasn't alright after losing that much blood.

She pushed against the door, expecting it to be locked. Instead, it gave way with one shove. A girl sat on the toilet, eyes sightlessly staring off into the distance. Her dress had been shredded, and several large wounds oozed blood that dripped onto the tile.

For a moment, Alexis just stared at the corpse, as if expecting the whole thing to be fake somehow.

It didn't change. There was still a dead girl in the bathroom.

Well, shit.

Alexis pulled her phone out, her finger clumsily moving over the screen. "Hello, I need to report a murder."

So much for staying away from homicide.

* * *

Author's Note: YAY! I apologize for how long this chapter took. I hope you all enjoyed it, because I sure worked hard on this one!

Many thanks to Rori Potter, PittSteelerGirl, JJS4, lovebirds413, BrittanyReid, zombie-hunt, and Guest for reviewing the last chapter. You guys are the best.

Though, I do have to say I'm disappointed with how few reviews the last chapter received. There are currently more followers of this story than there are reviews, so I know people like _IMV_ enough to follow its progress. If you're one of the 80-something followers and you like this story, please review! If you're not a follower, but you do like this story, please follow and review! If you have suggestions or constructive criticism, please share those too. It really means a lot to me to get feedback and encouragement from my readers.

For those interested, there are two new Rylexis stories up: _New Years Eve _by danayvette, and _Forbidden Love _by zombie-hunt. You should check them out!

The exposition is finally over, so it's time for things to get intense! What will Kevin do when he finds out that Alexis got drunk and almost hooked up with another guy? Stay tuned for more Rylexis goodness.

Best,

A.K. Hunter


	9. Chapter Nine

In My Veins

By:

A.K. Hunter

Chapter Nine

"The static of your arms, it is the catalyst. You're a chemical that burns, there is nothing like this." - Florence + the Machine, "Strangeness and Charm"

* * *

Kevin knew it would be a long night.

Murders in bars or clubs were extremely difficult to get clean evidence from; any witnesses to the crime were usually drunk, and therefore unreliable. He wasn't thrilled to work a club murder at two a.m., especially since he had an appointment the next morning, but he was ready for those factors going in. What he didn't count on was seeing Alexis Castle on the front lines of the crime scene, wearing an eye-catching, sleeveless blue dress that barely covered her thighs. The effect would have been stunning if she wasn't also caked in blood.

"Alexis!" He rushed over to her, trying to assess the damage. Her hands and forearms were stained with blood, as were her dress and the back her legs. She didn't seem to be bleeding from anywhere, but that didn't make her look any less gruesome. Why hadn't she received medical attention? "What happened?"

She brushed his hands away, looking a little unsteady. "I'm fine, Kevin. It's not my blood."

He took another look at her. She was wearing a lot of blood. "Whose blood is it?" She gestured to the dead girl still on the toilet, and the giant puddle of blood surrounding her. There was an Alexis-sized blood smear on the floor. The pieces were coming together slowly, but surely.

An officer walked past them, a drug dog at his side. They must have come a little too close to the scene. "Watch it!" Alexis hollered over at the officer, "The last thing we need is more contamination in that scene."

"Wait, are you working this scene tonight?"

Alexis tilted her head to the side, as if considering his question. After a long pause she answered, "Yes and no."

Kevin had never had such a difficult time getting his bearings in a crime scene. Javier approached them, brandishing a glass of water, and Alexis took the glass with a grateful expression. "Thanks."

He nodded a greeting to his partner. "I see you're caught up with Carrie, here."

Alexis rolled her eyes, "Very funny, Espo."

Kevin shook his head, "No, I'm not really up to date at all."

"Alexis can fill you in. I'm going to go talk to the owner and see how much more information we can get before Beckett and Castle get here, " Javier said, already walking away.

Kevin turned his attention back to Alexis, who was chugging the glass of water. She set the now-empty glass on a nearby table, next to two, identical glasses. Now that the shock of her blood-covered body had somewhat worn off, he noticed a couple other things about her appearance. Her long hair was a tangled mess, her pupils were dilated, and her skin was flushed. He noticed the clumsy way she moved, and the extra consideration she put into her words. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Are you drunk?"

Alexis' eyes widened, then she laughed. "That depends."

"On what?" He asked. She was drunk at a crime scene? Where were her friends?

"On how quickly all this water I've been drinking will sober me up," She said, biting her lip. Thinking out loud seemed to be somewhat difficult for her. "I'm pretty sure I'm not as drunk now as I was when I found the body-"

"You found the body?" Well, that explain the blood. It still didn't explain why she was in a drunk in a club, wearing a distracting dress.

"That's what I just said. Pay attention, detective."

Kevin took a deep breath. "Walk me through this."

Alexis rolled her eyes. "I found the body in the bathroom after I slipped and fell into her blood. I called the police, who are now here," she gestured at him. "Perlmutter is on call tonight, but he's busy at another scene, so I stayed since I'm also a witness, and yes, Kevin, I am just a little bit drunk right now."

"A bit little drunk" seemed like a massive understatement. He glanced around and noticed some of the officers checking her out. Witness or not, a crime scene was no place for Alexis in her current state.

"Do you think you should maybe clean up a little bit?"

"You think? Where would I clean up, Kevin? The ladies room is a crime scene, and I don't dare go into the men's room at a place like this."

Kevin motioned a waitress over, "You guys have a kitchen somewhere?" The waitress directed them across the club, and Kevin dragged Alexis into the kitchen by the arm, glaring at anybody who looked twice at her. She stumbled behind him, loudly complaining.

Once inside, he took off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves and started digging through drawers and cupboards until he found a stack of kitchen towels. He soaked one of them in hot water.

"Much as I love the he-man move, I don't recall asking for your help," she said. Her skin was flushed with anger. Kevin would have found it endearing if he hadn't been so fixated on getting her cleaned up and away from the crime scene.

"Let me see your arms," he said, ignoring her indignation.

She took the towel from his hands. "I can do it myself." She wiped her arms clean, then tried to lean over and wipe the dried blood off of the back of her legs, but she was too unsteady on her feet. She stumbled to the floor, knocking over a box of kitchen supplies in the process. Metal bowls banged loudly against the tile floor.

"Ouch."

Kevin sighed, wishing he could laugh. This was going to look bad. He pulled her to her feet. "Turn around and hold on to the counter."

She stared at him, confused. Even intoxicated, she was beautiful. Sometimes he wished she was ugly. A lot of things would be easier if he wasn't attracted to her, including the present situation.

"Just hold on to the counter," he repeated.

She followed his instructions and he took a deep breath, mentally steeling himself. When he pressed the cloth to the back of her thigh, she yelped and tried to jump away. He placed a hand on the small of her back, holding her in place. He could feel the heat of her skin through the thin material.

"Hold still," he said quietly.

"I-I can do this myself," she repeated, this time with an entirely different tone. Her voice bordered on desperate, though he wasn't sure exactly what she was desperate for.

Kevin didn't even grace her comment with a response. Her collision with the kitchen floor was proof of her inability to take care of the problem by herself. After a few moments, Kevin found himself mesmerized by the rust-colored swirls on her alabaster skin.

He tried to ignore the way her breath hitched as he moved the cloth over her skin. Yes, this was definitely a bad idea. His skin felt hot and certain parts of his body were responding to his situation. He paused in his ministrations, trying to calm himself down. Images of Alexis screaming his name on the kitchen floor ran through his mind.

"See something you like, detective?"

Kevin glanced up to see her watching him over her shoulder. Busted. He immediately averted his gaze. "Ah, no. Nope. I do not."

Alexis snorted and gazed forward, "Of course you don't."

"Of course I don't what?"

"Oh nothing," she said innocently.

"How much have you had to drink?"

She wrinkled up her nose in thought. "Not sure."

Kevin exhaled raggedly. This night wasn't at all shaping up the way he'd imagined. Instead of solving a crime scene he was bathing a tipsy twenty-one-year old. The situation was just as inappropriate as it sounded. And part of him was enjoying it. What the hell was wrong with him?

He finished washing the blood off of her legs, and stepped away, tossing the bloodied rag into the sink and washing his hands. When he turned around, Alexis was watching him closely, her bottom lip between her teeth.

He suddenly realized that he wanted nothing more than to taste her. They were a few feet apart, on opposite sides of the aisle, but both were stuck in each other's gaze.

"Hey," Javier said, coming into the kitchen. "I've been looking for you two." He paused, noticing the tension and shared red faces. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No!" Alexis cried.

Kevin shook his head. Her dramatic reaction made the whole thing worse. "I was just helping Bloody Mary clean up."

"Clever," Alexis deadpanned.

"Sure," Javier said, not believing his partner's account. "Alexis, I need to take your statement." He quickly sized her up. "Are you sober enough to give it?"

She waved aimlessly at him, "I'm getting there. I can give a statement."

Javier took out a notepad. "Tell us about finding the body."

Alexis described what had happened in the bathroom. Again, Kevin wondered how she'd ended up in the club of all places. She made no mention of her "friends" either. Had she been lying to him? Why would she lie about that?

"You didn't notice the blood earlier?" Kevin asked.

She shook her head. "I didn't. I'm pretty sure it hadn't spread out to the sinks yet. She must have just barely been killed."

A vice squeezed Kevin's heart as he realized how close Alexis had come to interrupting the murder. It just as easily could have been her blood spread out on the bathroom floor. He gripped the counter for support.

"Did you see anyone on your way in?" Javier asked.

"Nope."

Javier watched the two of them before asking his next question. "I have a couple witnesses who saw you arguing with a guy before storming off into the bathroom?"

Alexis' eyes widened, and Kevin realized that she had never planned to tell them about that. Alexis glanced up at him with a guilty expression, and again Kevin felt a dull pain in his chest. He didn't even know she was seeing anyone.

"That's right," she said.

"Who is he?" Kevin asked.

"Just a guy," she said quickly.

That wasn't enough. Where was this mysterious guy when she was drunk and covered in blood? If she was seeing someone, then why wasn't he there, helping Alexis through this crazy night? "I thought you were going out with your friends tonight?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but they all ditched me."

None of his business? He was the one who had a heart attack when he saw her covered in blood, and he was the one who had come to her aid. At what point in her messed up logic would it become his business?

"Did this guy hurt you or make you feel threatened?" Javier asked.

"No."

"So what were you doing with this guy, Alexis?" Kevin asked.

Alexis blushed and he immediately knew what she'd been doing. He wasn't prepared for how much the realization hurt.

"I don't see how that's relevant to the case," she said. "Wait, you think he had something to do with this murder?"

"I think it's worth it to ask the question," Javier said.

Alexis shook her head, "He's not a bad guy. He wouldn't hurt someone like that. I mean, god, I even asked him to take me home and he wouldn't-" Alexis clapped her hands over her mouth. Her eyes landed on Kevin, who felt like he'd just had the wind knocked out of him. He looked down at the floor, gritting his teeth. This was just getting better and better.

Javier remained professional, despite her slip. "Okay. It'd be good to get his statement. Do you have his number?"

Her eyes kept darting to Kevin, "I don't have it."

"That's alright. What's his name?"

Alexis opened her mouth, then closed it. She sighed, "I didn't really catch his name, either."

He couldn't do it. He couldn't listen to the sordid details of her night with some mysterious guy. Kevin walked out of the kitchen, letting the door slam behind him.

Alexis turned back to Javier with wide eyes. "So on a scale of one to furious, how mad would you say he is?"

Javier shook his head. "I'm not getting into whatever is going on between you two."

Alexis immediately tried to refute his statement. "There is nothing going on between Kevin and I." Alexis could hear how weak her own voice sounded. She didn't believe it either. but it was the truth. It was one-sided. There truly was nothing going on between them.

"Who else knows?" she asked.

He shrugged.

"Javie," she pleaded.

"Just me and Lanie," he said.

Alexis breathed a sigh of relief. Her dad and Kate would flip. Her eyes popped open. "My dad and Kate! They can't see me like this. Are they here yet?"

"I called them before I got your statement. They should be on their way by now."

Alexis started panicking.

"If you don't want them to see you, then it's time to get a cab home, chica."

Alexis walked out of the kitchen, grabbing her purse from its hiding spot under a nearby table. She left the club, stepping out into the humid May air, and looked for a cab. What a terrible night. She cringed, remembering the look of disappointment and anger on Kevin's face. Part of her felt guilty, like she'd been cheating on him. Shame twisted in her stomach.

"What are you doing out here?"

Alexis hung her head. Of course she would run into him now. She looked up at Kevin, who was standing a few feet away. "Just getting a cab home."

"I'll take you home."

His face and voice was devoid of emotion and he wouldn't make eye contact. She wasn't sure she wanted to get in a car with him.

"I'm f-"

"If you tell me you're fine I will literally lose my mind. I'm not leaving you at the mercy of some cab driver in the middle of the night." He started walking toward his car, which was parked nearby, "Come on. I'm taking you home."

Alexis wasn't sure if his pushiness was a good or bad sign. It was good that he cared enough to take her home, right? She sighed, "Fine."

He opened the passenger door for her, and she got inside, not looking forward to the twenty minutes it would take to get home.

The drive was silent at first. Alexis tried to make conversation. "Do we have any leads at all?"

"Not as far as I know. I didn't get much time with the scene."

Alexis felt guilt wash over her. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"I don't think it is," she said.

He didn't say anything.

Alexis could feel the frustration pouring off of him. "You're mad at me."

Again, he stayed silent.

"Would it help if I said I'm sorry?"

He gave no indication that he had heard her.

Alexis was quickly losing patience. What did she have to apologize for? She went out and had a good time, like any other person her age. He had no right to act like she'd hurt his feelings by having a life of her own.

"You know what? Never mind. I'm not sorry. I'm an adult, and I can make my own decisions. I don't owe you an apology for living my life."

Her angry statement broke his silence. "What could you have possibly been thinking, Alexis?" His voice was quiet, but every word was laced with frustration.

"I was thinking that I wanted to have fun for once."

"By getting drunk and hooking up with random guys?"

When he put it like that, it sounded pretty bad. "First of all, there were no guys plural. Just one. And second, why not? Why shouldn't I go out and have a good time like every other person my age?"

"Because you're better than that!" His shout filled up all the empty space in the car. He took a deep breath, and then continued in a softer tone. "You're not like other people your age, Alexis. You're smarter, more mature."

He had so much faith in her. She wasn't sure she deserved it. "And what if you're wrong?"

"I'm not wrong."

Alexis rested her head against the seat, silence setting in once more. He was right. She wasn't like her peers. And while he thought it was a good thing, she wasn't so sure. Alexis was caught between being too old for people her age and too young for the people she spent most of her time with. It was lonely, being stuck in-between.

"Sometimes I want to be like them," she said softly.

"Why?"

"I think I'd have more friends. Or friends at all," she laughed bitterly.

He put the car in park. They'd arrived at her dad's building. "You have friends."

"Dead bodies and my dad's friends are not the same thing as having real friends," Alexis said. Kevin opened his mouth to argue, but she interrupted him. "I know you guys care, but at the end of the day you care because I'm Castle's daughter." She opened the door, "Thanks for the ride."

She walked up the steps toward the main door.

"Alexis, wait."

She turned around.

Kevin had turned off his car and was coming over. "At least let me see you up to the loft," he said.

"Okay."

He stayed by her side even after they'd gotten into the loft, and she quickly escaped to take a shower. Kevin dug through the fridge for something replenishing for her to drink and then sat at the bar, waiting. Her words echoed in his head. She was wrong about not having friends, at least where he was concerned. Yes, he'd been Castle's friend first, but he certainly didn't see Alexis as a kid. He hadn't realized she was so lonely. He could almost understand her misguided attempt to seek out companionship.

He thought over the night's events. Kevin knew what jealousy felt like, and when he'd imagined Alexis with another man... well, jealous didn't begin to cover it. If he was being honest with himself, he knew there was more to his feelings for Alexis than physical attraction.

"What are you still doing here?"

Alexis stood at the top of the stairs, her wet hair falling in waves over a blue camisole. All of her makeup had been scrubbed off of and her bare feet poked out underneath dark pajama bottoms that were a couple sizes too big. He hadn't seen her looking so casual since she'd stayed at his apartment.

He shrugged, "I figured I'd make sure you didn't drown in the shower." He smiled at her so she knew he was teasing.

Alexis huffed, sitting down next to him at the bar. "I'm not that drunk. In fact, I'm feeling very sober right now." She rested her head in her hands. He pushed the glass of orange juice over to her.

"Drink up. Electrolytes are your friends."

"Alcohol is the worst," she groaned.

He laughed, "Is this the first time you've gotten drunk?"

"I've been drunk once before, the night of my high school graduation. I promised myself I'd never be drunk again."

"Whoops."

"Yeah," she said. She looked at him, "I'm sorry you got caught up in all of this tonight, Kevin. I just... I was trying to make myself feel better and now everything is a mess."

"There's no place I'd rather be."

"Yeah, right."

"Really." He paused, trying to find the right words. "You're not just Castle's daughter, Alexis. You're the girl with the pepper spray. You've been a glimpse of sunlight during a really dark time in my life, and I will never be able to express how grateful I am to you." He smiled, "I understand what it's like to feel alone, but I hope you know that I'm here if you ever need to talk."

Alexis stared at him for a few seconds, then blurted out, "I'm in love with you."

Time stood still as her words filled the air between them.

"What did you say?" Kevin asked, staring at her in disbelief.

She jumped to her feet, knocking the chair over in her rush to back away from him. "I've tried really hard to ignore it and just move on, but it's not working. You're the kindest, bravest, most amazing man I've ever met and I'm in love with you."

Kevin couldn't believe what he was hearing. She was in love? With him? His face must have shown his shock, because she began talking faster, words spilling from her mouth, "I know you don't feel the same way and I know it's inappropriate. I just had to tell you because I've felt this way for months and I'm putting it out there because… I don't know." She seemed to lose steam. She stared down at the ground, her voice little more than a whisper. "I just thought you should know."

He had no response to her confession. Kevin's mind had gone blank, wordless. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She stared back at him, her large blue eyes full of hope.

His feet carried him forward, stopping in front of her. She loved him? Was that even possible? For so long Kevin had felt undesirable, unworthy of love. He still felt that way.

But the way she looked at him, like he was all she wanted in the entire world, caught him off guard. It made him wonder, and dare to hope, that some part of him was worthy of her love. And despite the burdens he'd been carrying for so long, Kevin had never felt more breakable than he did in that moment.

"Say something," Alexis begged.

Some part of his mind told him it was wrong. That she was too young, too unspoiled to be with someone like him. He would ruin her the same way he'd ruined his life with Jenny. He'd already lost his chance to be happy.

And then Kevin realized that none of that mattered. Because in that moment Alexis was all he wanted.

He took her face in his hands and gently pressed his lips against hers. She kissed him back with a ferocity that he hadn't expected. He'd originally meant for it to be a simple, sweet kiss, but as she pulled him closer he realized that simple and sweet wasn't going to cut it.

He twined his fingers into her soft hair, tipping her head back and deepening the kiss. She moaned against his mouth, and her hands pushed his jacket off of his shoulders. He was all too happy to oblige.

As his jacket his the floor, he nudged her backward until her thighs hit the back of the couch. She seemed like she couldn't get close enough to him, and returned the feeling. Every sense, every thought, his entire world was devoted to Alexis.

She grabbed on to his tie and pulled him forward, onto the couch. He paused long enough to remove his badge, phone, and service weapon, placing them on the coffee table. Then his arms were around her, his body pressing hers into the couch. He kissed a trail down her neck, his hand slipping underneath the hem of her shirt, fingertips brushing her bare stomach.

She tensed at the sensation. Her sigh of pleasure was music to his ears. Her hands moved to loosen his tie, then pulled it off and tossed it away. Her fingers nimbly unbuttoned his shirt. He gasped when her hands pressed against his warm skin. She smiled up at him deviously before kissing across his collarbone and biting the top of his shoulder playfully. Desire clouded his vision. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that they needed to slow down, that they were about to cross a line that couldn't be uncrossed. He ignored it.

He ran his hand up her side, his thumb brushing the side of her breast. She gasped, bucking her hips against his in response. He hadn't felt this way in months, years even. He slid his hand down her side, holding her in place. His thumb drew circles over her hipbone, and she moaned, dragging her fingernails over his back. Her fingers tugged at his belt, and he drew her hands away, pinning them on either side of her head. She groaned in frustration, and he lavished attention on her neck, sucking on her pulse point. She moaned loudly, rolling her hips against his.

God, she felt amazing. His name on her lips was the sweetest thing he'd ever heard. He wanted to draw it all out, make her sing his name.

Alexis had other ideas. She pushed at his chest, forcing him to sit up. She helped him out of his unbuttoned shirt and then straddled him, her hands running over planes of his chest and shoulders. Her mouth moved down to his jawline and from there to his ear. She grazed her teeth over his earlobe. Goosebumps broke out over his skin, and he gasped her name, his hands squeezing her waist.

She pulled away just long enough to yank her camisole over her head and toss it on the floor. Kevin's heart almost stopped. She wasn't wearing a bra. All logical thoughts, all warnings and precautions left his mind as he laid her back down against the couch, enveloping his senses in her touch and taste of her skin on his tongue. When her hands landed on his belt once more, he didn't fight it. Every particle of his body was alight with desire. He'd never wanted anyone so badly in his entire life.

Unfortunately, the universe had other plans in mind.

His phone rang, its shrill tone shattering their fragile moment. For a moment, they just stared at each other, the rational parts of their minds catching up with the present.

With shaking hands, Alexis reached over and took his cell phone from off the coffee table. Her face paled when she saw the name on the screen. She offered the phone to him.

"It's my dad."

* * *

Author's Note: Was it worth the wait? ;) Don't worry, there's a lot more Rylexis goodness still to come.

Many thanks to zombie-hunt, lovebirds413, Romantic Journalist, Rori Potter, sshg316, tmpestana, JJS4, casket fan 7970, TXMedic, PittSteelerGirl, jazzyjenn5, Amy Jones, maxreader, AALiz, danayvette, mm chicka, Liz R, assantra, steffiegee, pinkiepie, casketfangurl6, Emmy, and the various guests for reviewing the last chapter. We hit over 100 reviews! I'm really happy that so many people are enjoying _In My Veins_. :) Please keep it up! I've got midterms this week (wish me luck), but if I can get to 120 reviews I will make the time to get another chapter to you by next weekend. Sound fair?

Thanks for stopping by!


	10. Chapter Ten

In My Veins

By:

A.K. Hunter

"It was not your fault, but mine. And it was your heart on the line. I really fucked it up this time. Didn't I, my dear?" – Mumford and Sons, "Little Lion Man"

* * *

Alexis stood in the lab, testing what little blood their victim had left. Her eyes mechanically scanned through the results on the screen, a task so routine that she barely paid attention.

It had been twelve hours and seventeen minutes since Kevin had rushed out of the loft after her dad's phone call. Alexis cringed at the memory.

They'd needed Kevin back at the scene, which was why her dad had called in the first place. No matter how hard she tried, Alexis couldn't forget Kevin's expression when he'd got off the phone. Like he was sad and sick at the same time.

Both of them had wasted no time, wordlessly dressing. In that awkward moment, she'd had no idea what to say to the detective. As Kevin walked out the door, the color in his face the only indication that something had happened between them, he'd said, "Well… thanks."

His words had haunted her in the hours since. _Thanks_. What the hell?

Despite the late night and mild hangover, Alexis had dutifully shown up to her defense lessons the next morning. Kevin wasn't there. And he hadn't responded when she'd called or texted him.

The clock was ticking: twelve hours and nineteen minutes since she'd last seen him. Was he avoiding her? He was probably avoiding her. She would avoid herself, if she could.

"You want to talk about it?"

Alexis glanced over to the other end of the lab, where Lanie was testing the fibers found in the victim's clothes. Apparently she was being really obvious about her distraction.

Alexis shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "There's not really anything to talk about."

She was not ready to have the conversation about getting to second base with a _married_ man. The word rang over and over in her head. It was as if, somewhere along the line, she'd forgotten about that little problem. God, she'd taken her shirt off for him. She could barely contain her shame.

Lanie watched her assistant with raised eyebrows. "The huge hickey on your neck would disagree."

Alexis blushed to the roots of her hair. She adjusted the collar of her lab coat in hopes of covering the dark red mark. It really was huge and, against the natural pallor of her skin, very noticeable. She had no idea what Kevin had been thinking when he left it.

The answer to her thought was immediate. He hadn't been thinking. Neither had she, apparently.

The worst part was that she didn't know how he felt. She was elated with the possibility that he might return her feelings. He had kissed her, after all. But her analytical mind couldn't help but notice that he had never actually confirmed or denied his feelings. She'd confessed she was in love with him, and he hadn't said a word to her until he was walking out the door.

_Thanks_.

What the hell did that even mean? Thanks for confessing her love? Thanks for letting him cop a feel? Thanks for helping him cheat on his wife? Guilt churned in her stomach. She'd enjoyed their moment, more than she would ever admit, but now it just felt dirty. _She_ felt dirty.

"Alexis?"

The redhead looked up at the M.E.

"Spill," Lanie said.

Alexis bit her lip and looked down at the floor. "I… kissed someone last night."

"I can see that."

The redhead could tell Lanie wouldn't be satisfied with her short response.

"It got pretty hot and heavy."

"Uh-huh."

"And… we were interrupted. And now he's not returning my texts or phone calls," Alexis said.

The M.E.'s face filled with concern. "Not at all?"

Alexis shook her head sadly.

"Does this have anything to do with you getting drunk last night?"

Alexis sighed. She was getting it on all sides. Stupid Alexis, drunk at crime scene. She was sick of it. It's not like she'd planned to find a dead body.

Lanie continued, "Sounds like a dirtbag. You're better off without him."

Would she be so dismissive if she knew the guy was Kevin? The redhead doubted it. That would just create another set of problems.

But Lanie was right, to an extent. If any other guy had pulled that stunt, Alexis would have said good riddance to him. What made Kevin any different?

In fact, it was almost worse, because Kevin was still married, and had no clear intention of divorcing his wife. Not only had she messed up with a married man, she'd messed up with a married man who was still in love with his wife.

"I know," Alexis said. "But that doesn't make it hurt any less."

Lanie crossed the lab and gave Alexis a reassuring hug. "Do you want me to have Javie rough this guy up?"

Alexis almost laughed, imagining Javier taking down Kevin. The older detective could do it, too. "I'll let you know."

Her cell phone rang, and she almost tripped over her own feet in her haste to answer it. Sadly, it wasn't Kevin. It was Kate. They had a lineup of guys from the club last night. They needed Alexis to confirm if she'd seen any of them around the crime scene.

"I've got to run up to the precinct," she told Lanie.

She grabbed her purse, her stomach filled with butterflies at the thought of seeing Kevin. When she arrived on the homicide floor of the 12th precinct, her eyes immediately scanned the bullpen for the Irish detective. She didn't see him anywhere. Alexis self-consciously smoothed her hair over the side of her neck. No point in everyone seeing her scarlet letter.

She saw Javier over by the interrogation room, and headed over.

"Hey."

"You sure clean up nice," He joked.

Alexis rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I left all the blood back at the morgue."

"Good choice."

She glanced at the interrogation room. The blinds were down, obstructing her view. "Are they all in there?"

"Yep. You ready?"

She nodded, "I don't know how much I can help, but I'll give it a shot." She allowed herself to be ushered into the observation room. Her heart frontflipped over itself when she saw Kevin lining up seven men in interrogation. Javier entered right after to help him supervise the suspects.

She watched his face intently for any sign of distress. It was a blank slate. She sighed.

"Hey Alexis," her dad said as he and Beckett entered observation.

Great. This was just getting better and better. "Hi." She and her father had argued that morning about her involvement in the crime scene, namely the fact that she had been drunk, alone, and covered in blood when Javier had showed up to the scene. Her father's admonishment for her to act more responsibly still rang in her ears.

The irony of his words just about killed her.

"How's your hangover?" he asked cheerfully. Apparently he'd changed his tactics. Alexis knew how this would go down; he'd taunt her into submission.

"Fine," she said, studiously trying to ignore both her father and Kevin so she could remember if she had seen any of the men.

"You think you'll be able to remember any of these guys?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Castle, let her look," Kate scolded.

Alexis smiled to herself. She'd always found an ally in Kate. Alexis carefully studied each of the men's faces, but nothing was coming up. "How'd you pick these guys?"

"The owner described them as regulars who have recently had big fights with girls in the club. We thought it was worth it to check if you recognized any of them," Kate said.

Alexis nodded, glancing from face to face once more. Her eyes landed on Kevin, who was watching the two-way mirror. He had to know she was in there. Even though she knew he couldn't see her, she felt herself shrinking under his gaze. She absently played with her hair.

"Do you recognize any of them?" Kate asked.

Alexis sighed, shaking her head. "I don't. I'm sorry. I didn't see any of those men at the club last night."

Kate gave her a small smile. "We knew it was a long shot."

Alexis glanced over to the couple, noticing the way her dad was scrutinizing her. "What?"

"Alexis Castle, is that a hickey on your neck?"

Heat rose in her face, and she casually tried to cover her neck with her hair.

"Oh my god. It is a hickey!" he exclaimed. "Alexis, who gave you a hickey?"

She cringed. If he said the word, "hickey" one more time…

There was a knock at the door, and Javier and Kevin walked in.

Kevin glanced at her briefly, before his gaze landed on Beckett. "Hey. No luck?"

Alexis momentarily forgot how to speak. Thankfully, Kate answered for her. "No luck. Alexis didn't see any of those men last night."

Kevin nodded, "Not surprising. She was pretty drunk."

The redhead's eyes narrowed at him, "_She_ can hear you."

Kevin shrugged. "It's true, I mean, what do you even remember from last night, Alexis?"

Alexis wasn't worried any more. Now, she was just angry. Not only was Kevin throwing her under the bus in front of her dad, Kate and Javier, but he was acting so casual about it. Like he wasn't even nervous to be around her, like he hadn't had his mouth of various parts of her body the night before.

"Everything," she spat. "I remember everything about last night."

His eyes widened, and he looked away. Good. He needed to shut the hell up.

"But the more important question is, who did you see last night, Alexis?" her dad pressed.

Kevin's head snapped back over to Alexis. They locked eye, blue clashing with blue. For a moment, she saw the depth of his regret, and his fear of their friends finding out. Pain flared across her chest. She was his dirty little secret. "It's none of your business, dad."

"It is my business when you come home in the middle of the night drunk, covered in blood and behickey'd!" Castle exclaimed.

Alexis gritted her teeth. It was the argument from this morning all over again. She noticed Kevin's eyes examining her neck. Sick of everything, she bundled her hair in one hand, showing off the love bite to everyone in observation.

"Yes, everyone. It's a hickey. Take a look! It's super embarrassing, super personal, and not at all relevant to this case." She released her hair, shouldering past Kevin on her way to the door. She could smell his cologne. Memories of the night before threatened to surface, but she pushed them down. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go back to work."

She walked down the hall purposefully, not stopping until she reached the elevator. Once inside she pressed the button and leaned against the rail. Shame and embarrassment coursed through her.

As the doors closed, a hand shot out. Kevin stepped on to the elevator, slightly out of breath. He must have rushed to catch her.

"We need to talk."

"About what?" Alexis said, matching the blasé tone he used in observation.

His eyes narrowed. "You know what."

She looked up at him, saw the concern and regret in his eyes, and just _knew_ he was moments away from putting her down gently. From telling her that he was flattered, but he didn't return her feelings.

Anger spilled into her blood. He didn't get to act like the good guy. Not when he'd ignored her for the last day. Not when he'd thrown her under the bus and hadn't said a word while her father railed on her about the hickey _he_'d left on her skin. _Thanks_. Who the fuck says that?

She folded her arms, averting her gaze. "I don't think there's anything to say about it."

"Alexis, last night-"

"No."

"Aren't you going to let me speak?"

"I don't want to hear it."

"Tough. Last night was-"

She bit back a scream of frustration. "Don't you understand, Kevin? I know what you're going to say. I _get_ it. Last night was a mistake, I had too much to drink, you were emotionally vulnerable, or whatever other bullshit you want to spin," he flinched at the words. "You don't return my feelings. It was a lapse in your judgment. And it can never happen again."

He was at a loss for words.

"Well?" Alexis pressed. "Am I wrong? Tell me I'm wrong."

"I'm trying to do the right thing here," Kevin said, backtracking. "You're Castle's daughter. You're still a kid."

For a moment Alexis only saw red. A kid? What the _hell_? "You certainly didn't act like I was kid when you had your hand up my shirt last night," she snarled.

The elevator doors opened on the main floor, but they stayed in place. Kevin looked around to make sure no one had heard her comment, which only made her more furious.

"Just answer one question, Kevin. If you don't feel the same way, why did you kiss me? Why did you do any of those things with me?"

"Alexis, I... I don't know why I did those things. I just know that I can't do it again. I'm married. I can't betray Jenny like that. She's Sarah's mother."

There it was. The old excuse he'd been holding on to for months. It was too much. The events of the last day and a half were too much for Alexis. She'd had her hopes raised and then violently dashed, and in that moment all she wanted to do was share the pain with everyone around her.

"Sarah is _gone_, Kevin. She's dead, and holding on to a woman who doesn't love you won't bring your daughter back!"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Alexis would have given anything to gather them back up. To keep them from reaching Kevin's ears. She watched her words wash over him, chipping away at his soul. She'd done it; she'd hurt him just as much as he had hurt her.

He looked her in the eyes, and for a moment she was frightened by the lifeless blue eyes that stared back. His voice was quiet. "We're done."

She bit back a sob. "Glad to see we finally agree on something."

Alexis left him on the elevator, hurrying into a cab so nobody would see her tears.

* * *

Three weeks later, Kevin found himself at The Old Haunt with Javier after a spending the day investigating their new case. A twenty-seven-year-old preschool teacher was found dead on her school's playground. Her body had been staged on the merry-go-round. Kevin usually found it interesting when murderers tried to be clever with their kills, but that day he thought the whole thing was a bit macabre.

Castle and Beckett had joined them at the bar for a couple hours before heading home for the night. It was well past midnight, and the two detectives had spent the last few hours enjoying each other's company, and catching up on each other's lives outside the precinct. The two men tried to have a "guys night" every now and then for that very purpose.

Kevin was enjoying the evening with his partner so much that it had come as a shock when Javier suddenly said, "You fucked up, Kev."

Kevin frowned. "Excuse me?"

"With Alexis. You fucked up."

Kevin stared openmouthed at his partner. "Did Alexis tell you?"

"You just did."

He groaned, "Listen, Javie. Whatever you think you know about this-"

"I know she didn't have that hickey before you took her home that night. I know that when you finally got your ass back to the scene your tie was inside-out. And I know she didn't just transfer to organized crime for the change of scenery," the detective said.

Kevin didn't know what to say to that. Almost immediately after their fight in the elevator, Alexis had asked to be transferred to Slaughter's unit for the next several cases.

According to Lanie, the transfer was due to Alexis' involvement in the club murder. The redhead needed a break from homicide after the shock of it all. Kevin was pretty skeptical about that. Alexis wasn't some fainting damsel; she spent her days examining bloodstains and dead bodies. Kevin was certain that the transfer had more to do with him than anything else.

Since going to organized crime, the Alexis had been positively cold to him. In fact, she only spoke to him when she worked on the club murder, her last case with homicide, which was still unsolved.

They hadn't even been able to I.D. the vic's body. Her fingerprints weren't a match to anyone in the system, and there was nothing significant about the clothes she'd been found in. Canvassing hadn't revealed anything either.

It was a tough case, and Kevin had noticed Alexis struggling with their slow progress. Not that she had said anything to him about it. He'd be lying if he said he didn't miss her, but their last interaction made him wonder if it wasn't for the best that she was working with another team. Her parting words had stuck with him over the last few weeks. He'd forgiven her, of course. He knew she'd only said them out of hurt and anger, but that didn't change their fundamentally backward situation. They'd skipped from friends to lovers, carelessly ignoring the reality of their situation, and now they were neither of those things.

Kevin wasn't sure what he felt worse about, rejecting Alexis or putting his hands on her in the first place. Christ, ever since the lust had cleared from his eyes he'd barely been able to look at her. All he could think was that he'd cheated on Jenny. He'd cheated on Sarah's mother.

"How long have you been messing around with her, Kevin?" Javier asked.

The Irish detective sighed, knowing he couldn't keep anything from his partner. "Just the once."

His partner looked skeptical. "Are you sure about that? Anyone with a working set of eyes can see the pheromones that have been floating around you two over the last couple of months."

Kevin cringed, hoping that Javier was the only one who had noticed. "Yes, Javie. Just the once." Kevin paused, "If you've had suspicions for months, why did you wait until now to approach me?"

"It wasn't my business, and you seemed happy."

"And it's your business now?"

Javier sat forward, getting in Kevin's personal space. "You've made it my business, bro. You fucked up, and now Alexis is off homicide and refuses to talk to you. How long do you think it'll take for Beckett or Castle to figure out why she left? And how long do you think our team will stay together once everyone knows you messed around with Castle's daughter?"

Kevin thought about that for a minute. "Shit."

The older detective nodded. "Yeah. Shit is right. You need to fix this."

"I don't know how to fix it."

"'I'm sorry' is a good place to start."

"She told me she's in love with me."

Javier looked surprised. "What did you say?"

"Nothing. I just kissed her, and then everything went sideways," Kevin ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. "I can't give her what she wants, Javie. I'm married."

"Only technically."

Kevin glared at his partner. "It doesn't work like that. There aren't shades of married. What Alexis and I did was basically adultery."

Javier watched his partner, carefully choosing his words. "Do you think your loyalty to Jenny might be a little misplaced?"

"Javier," Kevin warned.

"I'm just saying. You don't return her phone calls, and you haven't seen her in months. You don't have a relationship with Jenny anymore, Kev."

"I love her," Kevin insisted.

"Okay, what do you love about her?"

Kevin couldn't speak. He had countless reasons to love Jenny. He knew he did. But they were stuck on the tip of his tongue, and he couldn't find the words. He realized he couldn't remember the exact shade of her eyes, or the last time Jenny had made him laugh. Was Javier right? Was his relationship with her so far gone that it was little more than a piece of paper?

And what about Alexis? Did he even want to fix things with her? It would be better to just cut her loose, wouldn't it? Let her be happy with someone else. He tried to ignore the discomfort in his chest at imagining her with someone else. He asked himself another question: what did he love about Alexis? That was innocuous, right? It didn't have to mean romantic love. The question, when applied to Alexis, had the opposite effect. Words and images filled his mind, a montage played too fast to see clearly. Among the mental patchwork, over and over again, he saw her hopeful eyes staring up at him, her infectious smile, and her voice saying, "I'm in love with you."

"Javie," Kevin said, his eyes wide with realization. "I fucked up."

Javier patted his back. "I know, bro. I know."

* * *

Author's Note: Yay! Sorry this was a little late. I hope it was enjoyable for you all! Stay tuned for more Rylexisms!

Many thanks to zombie-hunt, NCISLACASTLENZFan, caskett fan 7970, popie92, jazzyjenn5, steffiegee, Mrs. Ferb Fletcher-inator, Rori Potter, CBurns1995, lovebirds413 , castlefan51, tmpestana , SeGate, Chkgun93, danayvette, , Amy Jones, nacy3451, Liz R, mm chicka, and the awesome guests for reviewing! You guys are totally the best, and your kind, thoughtful reviews helped keep me motivated through the nightmarish hellscape that is midterms. (They're over now. I think I did well. Life is good.)

An especially heartfelt thanks to JJS4 for helping me better understand my crazy, stubborn characters. :)

My goal is to get another chapter up sometime Saturday, and if IMV can get up to 145 reviews I promise to make that goal a reality. ;)

Best,

A.K. Hunter


	11. Chapter Eleven

In My Veins

by:

A.K. Hunter

Chapter Eleven

"I know we all, we all got our faults. We get locked in our vaults and we stay,  
but when you're gone all the colors fade." - Amos Lee, "Colors"

* * *

Alexis was exhausted. She'd been covering Lanie, who was away visiting family, so Alexis was back on homicide, but still covering cases from organized crime. Combining that with the fact that Perlmutter was overseeing her cases and liked to torture her by giving her extra paperwork, she'd been running on a few hours of sleep a night for almost an entire week running. It was getting to the point that coffee just wasn't enough to stave off the exhaustion.

Part of Alexis was glad to be so busy. When she was running from case to case, she didn't have to time to think about, well, anything except the case. And after the last few weeks, Alexis needed a break from thinking about things, from thinking about one person in particular.

The latest case, an organized crime call, had brought her down to Hell's Kitchen just after sunrise. They'd found a body, a known dealer for one of the gangs, next to a dumpster in a dirty alley. Like most cases, Alexis was the first one to the scene, with the exception of a couple uniformed officers who gave her plenty of space to work.

Alexis actually enjoyed the time with the scene before the detectives arrived and the investigation truly began. In those minutes when the crime scene was fresh and there weren't a bunch of people running around, Alexis felt like she could almost see what had really happened.

Their latest victim was laid out on the ground, his skin cold and pale. Alexis couldn't determine the cause of death right away. She pulled on her gloves and kneeled on the ground to inspect the body. There were no obvious injuries, no blood on the body. She checked his wrist for a pulse – nothing.

When she pressed her fingers against his carotid, she swore she felt something. She glanced around, looking for the nearest officer. There weren't any close by. She checked the victim's pulse again, and once more she felt a slight beat beneath her fingers.

Alexis yelled, "I need some help over-"

Before she could process it, the man jerked awake, knocking her on her back, his cold fingers clawing at her face and wrapping around her throat like a vice. Bulbous eyes with tiny, pinprick pupils stared down at her; indecipherable words flowed from the man's mouth. Alexis kicked at him, tried to pull his grip from her neck, but to no avail.

Her brain was thrown fully into panic mode. Had the officers heard her yell? _Where were they?_

She tried to scream but couldn't draw breath to do so. The face staring down at her was cold, devoid of emotion or remorse. Oh god, she was going to die in this dirty alley, strangled by a crazy man whose life she'd been trying to save.

Her lungs burned, protesting the lack of oxygen. It felt like her chest was being ripped apart. Though she knew that it must have only been seconds since the man had pinned her, the pain and panic made it feel like years.

Her attempts to fight were weakening to uncoordinated flails, and her vision was beginning to white out, a sure sign that her brain was deprived of oxygenated blood. The pain in her chest was beginning to dull, and Alexis struggled to remember what she'd been so afraid of...

"..."

Muddled sounds swam through her consciousness. Warmth moved through her body, and suddenly, she realized she was breathing. Her eyes jolted open to a world that was too bright and too loud. She couldn't process it.

She gasped, drawing in precious oxygen.

"Alexis?"

Warmth pressed in on either side of her face, and her gazed locked on a pair of brown eyes. She'd seen them before. They were familiar, somehow.

"There you are." The voice was deep, but gentle.

She tried to speak, tried make her voice work, but her bruised, swollen vocals chords refused to make a sound.

"There's an ambulance on the way. You're going to be okay, Alexis."

She had so many unanswered questions; there were so many things she wanted to say. "Thank you," for starters. But a bone-deep fatigue had settled in, and Alexis fought to keep her eyes open.

"You're safe now," the voice said.

Her eyes closed again, and Alexis slept.

* * *

When Alexis opened her eyes again, she was surrounded by friends. Her dad and grandmother sat next to the hospital bed. Kate and Javier spoke quietly in the corner of the room. Kevin wasn't there, and for a split second, Alexis was hurt by his absence. She ignored it.

"Hi," she said, her voice sounding like she had just eaten a handful of gravel.

Castle's arms were instantly around her. "When I got the call… I was so worried about you!"

"What happened?"

"Your 'vic' turned out to be a meth head on a bad trip," Javier said. "Guy was high as a kite when the uni's pulled him off of you. One of them had to perform CPR." The detective looked furious.

Alexis frowned. She vaguely remembered someone talking to her when she'd briefly regained consciousness. There was something familiar about that voice, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Maybe they'd run into each other at crime scenes before?

The doctor pulled aside the curtain, interrupting Alexis' train of thought.

"Hello, Alexis. I'm Dr. Brown, I'm glad to see you awake. We just need to do some tests…"

Several hours later, Alexis was allowed to go home. The doctor had checked her oxygen levels several times, and had performed some basic neurological tests to make sure there wasn't any brain damage. Alexis was good on both accounts. She would have some swelling and bruising around her neck for several days, but had been assured that the marks would fade.

When Alexis arrived home, she went directly to the shower. There was dirt in her hair from the alley, and she needed to wash off any last speck of grime from that scene, if only for the sake of her sanity.

Alexis stood in front of the mirror, a towel wrapped around her body, her wet hair cascading down her back. Her neck looked awful. There were purple marks where the man's fingers had dug into her skin, and an angry, red ring ran from one side of her throat to the other.

She gingerly touched one of the darker imprints, wincing at how tender the mark was. Logically, Alexis knew the marks upon her neck were a physiological response. Capillaries are delicate; they tend to break under pressure, creating small pools of blood beneath the surface of the skin. Bruises.

It was just that simple, just a scientific reaction. The hickey Kevin had left on her neck a month earlier had followed the same rules of physiology. It was just a bruise, nothing more.

Except, that ring around her neck, that sensitive collar of broken blood vessels, had been left with the intent to kill. There was no comparison to Kevin's mark, an act of passion and tenderness, and Alexis couldn't just break it down into its scientific parts.

She had nearly died today.

Before now, Alexis had never truly appreciated how dangerous an M.E.'s job could be. And for just a second, she wondered if the risks were worth it. Did she really want to continue a job that put her in harm's way on a regular basis?

Alexis shook herself.

She was in shock. It wasn't the time to make a decision like that. She brushed out her hair and pulled on some comfortable clothes. After a moment of deliberation, she tied a light scarf around her neck, and then headed downstairs. She stopped short when she heard her father's voice.

"I can't let her do this."

"Rick, she's a grown woman. Today was a fluke. Nothing like that will ever happen to her at a scene again." Alexis recognized Kate's voice. They were talking about her.

"She could have died," her father said. The anguish in his voice brought tears to Alexis' eyes. She didn't want to listen any more. She continued down the stairs, making her footsteps purposely loud to announce her presence.

Her dad, Kate and Javier were sitting in the living room, their faces grim. Alexis sat down next to her dad, curling up against his side. He held her close, almost too tightly. Alexis didn't mind. They each needed the comfort that only the other could provide.

The group sat in silence for a moment before Alexis dared to ask, "Where's Kevin?"

The question had been in the back of her mind since she'd woken up in the hospital. As his absence continued, she'd grown more and more hurt. Yes, they were fighting, but she thought he at least cared enough to call. He had to know what had happened.

Javier looked between Kate and Castle for a moment before saying, "Today's the anniversary of Sarah's death."

Alexis' eyes widened. She hadn't realized. "Is he okay?"

Javier frowned, "I stopped by his place before coming to the hospital. He sounded like he was surviving. He wants space right now."

"Is that the best idea?"

"I'm going to check on him after we finish for the day."

Kate's phone rang. They were needed at a scene. Castle was determined to stay by Alexis' side, so Kate and Javier left after hugging Alexis and promising to keep Castle in the loop on the case.

"Do you think he's going to be all right?" Alexis asked her dad.

"I don't know, honey. Today I got a taste of what Ryan must go through on a daily basis," he said. "And I can't imagine how he's able to get out of bed in the morning."

She sighed, laying her head against her father's chest. "I'm okay, dad."

They sat together for a while, neither of them speaking. It was only after Alexis' stomach began to loudly complain that her father released his hold on her. They had ordered dinner from her favorite Italian place, and her dad left to pick it up, promising he'd be back soon.

Alexis sat on the couch for a while, determining whether or not to call Kevin. It had been nearly a month since their argument in the elevator. He'd actually tried to call her a couple times over the last few days, but she'd declined them all. She had no interest in talking to a man who treated how Kevin had.

_You're still a kid_.

His words made her want to curl into a ball and die, and her unkind remarks to him didn't offer any comfort.

But now she was worried about him, and the pain he was dealing with was bigger than the fallout from their moment of passion. She dialed his number. "Come on. Pick up."

It eventually went to voicemail. "Hi, Kevin. It's me… um, Alexis, that is. Please call me back."

She hung up, her stomach twisting with anxiety. Maybe she was over-thinking it, but something felt wrong. Why wouldn't he answer her call? Was he hurt? A knock at the door drew her back to the present.

Alexis opened the door and stepped back, letting her eyes and mind adjust to the newcomer, a young man brown eyes and blonde hair. She was floored with recognition.

"It's you."

The person in question smiled at her, his white teeth gleaming. The police uniform he wore did nothing to detract from how handsome he was. "You're looking much better."

Suddenly, all the puzzle pieces clicked together. She knew why his eyes and his voice had been so familiar to her that morning. She'd met him before. In fact, their last interaction before the crime scene had been rather up close and personal.

"It was you," she said again, feeling a bit like a broken record. She clarified. "You... were at the scene today. You saved my life."

He smiled sheepishly, as if it was all in a day's work. She then noticed that he had a small bouquet of flowers in his hand. He shifted them over, and held out a hand to her.

"I'm Liam."

"Alexis."

"I know."

She looked at him questioningly, and he dug in his pocket, pulling out her badge. She must have left it at the scene when the ambulance had taken her. "I'd heard rumors of the brilliant M.E. assistant, but I had no idea that you were her." He paused, "I've been trying to figure out how to track you down since that night at the club."

Alexis blushed at the memory. God, she'd been awful to him. And in return he'd saved her life and brought her flowers. There were no words to describe her embarrassment or gratitude.

He must have misread her silence, because he held out the flowers, saying, "A get well gift from the officers at the scene."

She took the bouquet, inhaling deeply. "Thank you."

Liam put his hands in his pockets, "Well, I guess I'll see you around." He started to head towards the elevator.

"Wait."

He paused, turning around.

Alexis bit her lip. "Would you like to come in?"

Liam smiled. "I'd like that very much."

* * *

One year.

It had been one year since Kevin woke up to Jenny's scream, a deep, soul-wrenching cry that he would never be able to erase from his mind. It had been one year since he entered the nursery to find his wife sobbing over the body of their six month old daughter, who had died sometime during the night. It had been one year since his world had shattered.

Kevin spent most of the anniversary in bed, a bottle of whiskey his only companion. Javie had come by first thing in the morning, but he'd been called away. Probably a murder. Since his partner had left, Kevin hadn't showered, shaved, or eaten. He'd just lain in bed, trying to recreate those moments before everything fell apart.

It had been early in the morning; he'd been out late the night before, catching criminals. He'd been tired all the time those days, but it was a good kind of tired. The kind of tired that comes from a life well-lived. He'd had no regrets, no fears. Life had been perfect.

Lying on the queen-sized bed that now only slept one, Kevin could almost remember what it had felt like in those moments before Jenny had gone to check on Sarah. Kevin had held his daughter the night before, marveling at her, this beautiful creation. She was so perfect. She looked like Jenny, with big blue eyes and blonde hair. He'd never imagined that it would be the last time he'd feel her heartbeat as he held her to his chest. Never dared to think that it would be last time he'd feel her tiny hands wrap around his fingers.

God, he missed her. She'd been so perfect, so full of wonder and promise. She was so smart, he could already tell. She could have been a doctor, or a musician. She had her whole life ahead of her, and it had been snuffed out too soon.

Kevin hadn't been prepared for the way it hurt. He hadn't been prepared for the tiny coffin, or the gravestone with her name carved into it. He hadn't been prepared for the way he couldn't feel anything besides the hole in his chest, the way he couldn't breathe under the weight of her absence.

His only solace came in the moments he was engrossed in a case. They weren't often, but the moments he spent running after a suspect, the pavement pounding beneath his feet, or the hours he spent pondering on the impossibilities of the mystery in front of him, those fleeting moments were the only times he had felt halfway human.

So, like a junkie craving a fix, he'd curled up inside those moments, desperate for something, _anything_ to take the pain away.

Jenny was right. He'd been a shit husband.

Kevin took a pull from the bottle, his new best friend, and was disappointed to discover it empty. It was the last drop of alcohol he'd had in the apartment. Well, that wouldn't do. He sat up, letting his feet fall over the side of the bed and onto the floor. His limbs felt heavy and clumsy. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to go out. Wasn't Javie coming over soon? Maybe he'd bring some more liquor.

He checked the time on his phone, surprised to see he had missed a call from Alexis a couple hours before. He'd been trying for almost a week to talk to her. To try to explain himself. Kevin wondered absently if now was a good time to call. Except, he couldn't remember what he wanted to say to her.

He scrubbed his hands over his face, fighting to get his mind together. When he pulled his hands away, his gaze fell on a framed picture of Jenny, Sarah and himself. It had been taken only three weeks before Sarah's death. Kevin didn't recognize himself in the happy man in the picture. Suddenly, a heavy weight settled over his chest. He blinked away tears, his throat tight.

No, he definitely needed more alcohol. And he couldn't wait for Javie.

He staggered across the room, pulling on jeans and a baseball cap. Where were his shoes? It took quite a bit of effort, but the detective managed to get dressed and find his wallet. As he headed towards the bedroom door, his hand resting against the wall for balance, his phone lit up. He'd left it on the bed, but he could still see the display. Alexis was calling again.

He should get that. It was probably important.

Another wave hit him, almost knocking him off his feet. He took deep breaths, knowing somewhere in the back of his mind that nothing was physically wrong with him. He pulled himself upright again, stumbling out of his apartment.

Grief hurts. It's an emotional pain.

And the only cure for those fucking emotions is to stop feeling altogether.

* * *

Alexis was just falling asleep when her phone rang.

Despite the day's events, she'd been up late chatting with Liam, who had ended up staying for dinner. Her dad adored the young man, though his affection for Liam was likely due in no small part to the fact that he'd saved Alexis' life. It had been a great end to what started out as a terrible day, so when Liam had asked for Alexis' number, she'd given it to him. And when he'd asked her if she would like to go out with him later that week, she'd said yes.

There was a funny little tug in her heart when she'd agreed to go out with the young police officer, but Alexis had cheerfully ignored it. Kevin had made his choice weeks ago, and he wasn't answering her phone calls now. It was probably for the best that they all moved on with their lives.

She sleepily reached for her phone, surprised to see Javier's name on the display.

"Hello?"

"Alexis, I need you down at the morgue."

"I'm not on call tonight."

"It's not for a case." His voice sounded strange. She realized belatedly that he sounded panicked, afraid. Her heart fell like a stone into her stomach.

"Javie, what happened?" Part of her knew what he was going to say. She didn't need to ask. Alexis prayed that her instincts were wrong, that the detective wouldn't say those two words.

Seconds later, her prayer went unanswered.

"It's Kevin."

* * *

Author's Note: Don't hate me! :)

Many thanks to finabin, Amy Jones, SALIGIA, daisesndaffidols, The-KLF, jazzyjenn5, BrittanyReid, casket fan 7970, danayvette, , Chkgun93, Rori Potter, zombie-hunt, SeGate, tmpestana, nacy3451, Dodge1989, and Hamlet77 for your awesome reviews! Some of you made me straight up blush, and I'm so glad you're enjoying IMV.

An extra-special thanks to the lovely JJS4 for beta-ing for me!

Anyone out there doing NaNoWriMo this month? I'm participating, so hit me up if you want to be NaNo buddies. :)

Next chapter should be coming to a webpage near you by next weekend, and I'd love to see 165 reviews by then. Things are going to get really intense for our favorite couple, so be sure to check back for more!

Best,

A.K. Hunter


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